Uncanny X-Men: Revolution (comics)

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artists: Chris Bachalo, Frazier Irving
Collects: Uncanny X-Men (vol. 3) #1-5

I swear, I can't escape. Whenever I think I'm out, Marvel will throw Chris Bachalo and Frazier Irving at me and suddenly I'm reading about Cyclops again. It never ends.

Revolution picks up after Avengers vs X-Men* and deals pretty heavily with the fallout from said event. Cyclops has since escaped and - after a stop to his tailor for an upgrade to the coolest costume he's ever had - he's attempting to get the crew back together**. Problem is, their time as the Phoenix Five has effectively broken their powers in a way they don't understand. Regardless, Cyclops proves that's not enough to keep a good douchebag down, so he opens a new school, recruits some new mutants and doubles down on his previous rhetoric. He's not just threatening people anymore; Cyclops is straight up calling for revolution. Meanwhile, Magneto's gone triple agent; he's playing both sides of the field so well even we can't really tell whose side he's actually on.

I'm going to just say upfront that this series is not one you can really read on its own. This new volume of Uncanny X-Men shares a somewhat symbiotic relationship with All New X-Men, weaving in and out of that book while trying to do its own thing on the side. On the one hand, it makes for a richer overall experience; Bendis writes both books, so there's a tight connection between the two. On the other, it hobbles Uncannys ability to stand alone; this comic genuinely feels more like a full on spin-off of All New X-Men than its own entity at times.

There's no getting around it. To get the full experience of the Bendis run, you're going to have to read both books.

Is it worthwhile reading? Sure. Look, I can't stand Cyclops. I've made it clear by now. But I have to admit that while, given the choice, I'd rather not read about him, he's still an interesting character. Here, he's not even remotely humbled by what happened in AvX. Oh no, he's doubling down. As a result, he's not only alienating the rest of the mutant community, he's actively putting a target on everyones back by becoming exactly what everyone feared mutants could and would become.

He's so detached from the reality of what he's doing and what he's already done that he actually names his new school the New Xavier Institute. He has more or less rejected the teachings of his mentor - who he killed, Phoenix Force influence or not - while turning around and using the mans name for teaching schools of thought that man would actively oppose. He's ended up perverting Xaviers Dream in a way. This is interesting stuff to read about, even if the end result is that you don't particularly like the character.

If nothing else, we've at least abandoned the pretense that Cyclops is in the right, seemingly for real this time, which is a large part of what made the direction of the line unpalatable for years. Before, no one opposed him and he was treated like some unassailable leader. After Schism, people backed away from his increasingly extreme methods, but he still held enough clout to get the vast majority of mutants to rally behind him against the Avengers. Now, pretty much everyone recognizes the man not only lost his way somewhere up the line but is actively leading mutants into darker days.

I do wonder, however, if Bendis will end up acknowledging some of the problems with this direction and why Cyclops and his tactics have always come off so poorly. Mutants have special, super destructive powers that could easily wipe humans out and have a history of counting people who think that's a bitchin' idea among their number. See half of Magnetos schemes over the years, which at least had the X-Men around to stop them and act as a counterpoint. Hell, if you want to see an example of something like that actually coming to pass, Marvel already did that story; it was called Age of Apocalypse. Granted, the humans of the Marvel universe have taken it to extremes just as scary. The other side of the coin is Days of Future Past. But heroes are supposed to be better.

Point is, Cyclops and company are now punching down and I kind of hope that might be brought up, but I also realize that may be something the X-Men franchise never addresses for various reasons***.

Anyway, regarding the new school, we meet a couple new mutants due to the premise. So far, they all seem appealing enough, but it's early. We don't have a ton of time to really get to know them, especially since a good chunk of the book is about what trouble Cyclops and his team are getting into. So far, Uncanny doesn't quite reach the balance Wolverine and the X-Men has. That said, there's time.

Joining Bendis for this book is Chris Bachalo and Frazier Irving. I don't think I need to reiterate my love for both of these guys; I admit I'd rather they were on a book with a concept I could embrace, but given the fact that I'm going to be reading this comic anyway, it's nice to have such top shelf talent. I will express some reservations, however. Bachalo and Irving have wildly different art styles and they clash hard. So far, I'm not having too much trouble with it - and I completely understand that Bachalo needs an artist to switch off with, as the same thing happened with WatXM - but it's a jarring shift.

All told, it's a pretty good read. If you're already reading All New X-Men, you might as well get this as well. Just don't expect it to read well on its own.

My Opinion: Read It

 Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: Hoo boy. Dude's gone full Che Guevera. He's calling for a revolution now. I'm sure that will work out great. On top of that, he decides the "New Xavier School" is a great name for his new headquarters. Look, I get some crazy circumstances were involved and the Phoenix didn't help, but he still killed Xavier. Maybe name it something else? At the bare minimum, it's tasteless. Oh well. At least he isn't creeping on Jean Grey in this volume.

* Yes, I did read that. The fact that I didn't bother reviewing it should tell you all you need to know. I might get around to it some day, but for now I'll just say that it's about as good as most of Marvels other events. Which is to say, not very.

** Minus Colossus. He kind of hates his sister now and she's on this team. He'll wander off to do his own thing in X-Force for a while. 

*** Chief among them being that acknowledging this might break the "mutant as a stand in for race" metaphor for good. Say what you want about how completely played out it is, but it's meant a great deal to a lot of readers over the years and Marvel has plenty of reasons not to want to toss it out the window. 

All New X-Men: Yesterdays X-Men (comics)

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immonen
Collects: All New X-Men #1-5

This is not a book I was prepared to like.

While we do have the upside of Avengers vs X-Men having ended the "Extinction Era" of the X line - in my opinion, one of the worst in franchise history - we knew ahead of time that Bendis was leaving the Avengers line to take the reigns of the X books. For me, that's cause for trepidation; I've liked a fair bit of his work, but loved little of it, while I hated others still.

Not helping the situation is that the run was slated to involve the original five X-Men. Marvel rarely goes back to that well for good reason. The original five were mostly bland, with the worst offenders - Archangel and Beast - requiring complete overhauls to be remotely interesting.

Color me surprised, then, that All New X-Men is really good.

Bendis is on his game - possibly because he has new toys to work with rather than the same property he'd worked on for close to a decade - and the central conflict has more weight than I expected. Beasts mutation is killing him and he wants to make some kind of impact before he dies, so he goes back in time to recruit the original X-Men. His hope is that either the original group will force Cyclops to face what he's become or that seeing their futures will in some way steer the Cyclops from the past away from it. Kind of a dick move on Beasts part that could cause more problems that it would solve - I'm hoping someone calls him on it at some point and it's not just waved off - but few things can motivate someone to drastic measures quite like death, so I can buy it.

This is not a story that could have happened without the Extinction Era, which for me taints it in some way. But the reason this has weight is because the franchise has gone in some dark directions, whether Marvel wanted to admit it or not. If you brought those five back from that more idealistic time at any other point, it probably wouldn't have worked simply because it would be hard to believe their revulsion. But we live in a time where the X-Men have shacked up with Magneto, renounced humanity once or twice, fought to allow a world devouring entity to make it to Earth and now see their old leader calling for revolution. If you're going to do it, now's the time.

It works. Mostly. There's a lot for young Cyclops, Jean Grey and Beast to chew on because things have changed the most for them. The younger Iceman and Angel, however, struggle not to fade into the background. After all, Iceman has probably changed the least of the five, so it kind of feels as though his younger self is just along for the ride because the rest went. Angel, meanwhile, is as boring as he's always been. We'll see if Bendis can find something for them to do - Angel has yet to find out about the Archangel business, so there is something to be done with him - but for now they're just standing around while the more interesting character conflicts happen.

Some of the dialogue is spotty - and Modern Cyke has some thoughts upon seeing the younger Jean that we'll file under "questionable" if we want to be charitable - but Bendis does a great job of making things interesting. This might be my favorite thing that he's written since Siege; maybe even as far back as the last time I read Ultimate Spider-Man on a regular basis. A lot of his work was just not for me, but this seems to hit the sweet spot.

Despite relying heavily on how things have changed in the last decade of X-Men comics, it felt surprisingly accessible. This is always a tricky call to make when you're already invested in some way; if you've read as many X comics as I have, it's hard to objectively remove that knowledge and judge the material as if you're just trying to get into the franchise. But Bendis has an advantage here; his story focuses around a younger set of characters who have experienced none of this, so if he slips in some exposition about what has happened, it doesn't feel like an intrusion. You'll probably get more out of it if you already have a working knowledge of where the franchise has gone, but it seems to me like you could jump right in and get everything you need to enjoy the story right here.

The title also benefits from some top notch artwork by Stuart Immonen. This guy can easily sell a scene without words. There's a two page splash midway through the fifth issue that succiently summarizes Jean Grey's future in picture. Jean is in the center, surrounded by a patchwork of memories, making a bit of a bullseye. It's very effective and a great scene. Immonen feels like the perfect partner for this storyline, so I hope we can go without a ton of fill-ins as we go along.

Overall, we're left with a well crafted comic that is well worth reading. Time will tell if it continues as strongly as it started, but for now I definitely recommend the first volume. I'm sold.

My Opinion: Read It 

Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: Dudes a straight up creeper. The second he spots young Jean Grey, he's immediately like "she's so gorgeous, everything I ever wanted in life". Dude, chill out; that's, what, a sixteen year old version of your ex-wife. This is also kind of ignoring the fact that this "perfection" was exactly why they didn't work out in the first place.

Dude's also calling for straight up revolt on television. While picking up mutants for his own school. Which he's calling the New Xavier School. Yup, named after the father figure he himself killed. At least he shows some remorse in this one as opposed to the time he said he'd do it all over again.

Uncanny X-Men by Kieron Gillen vol. 4 (comics)

Writer: Kieron Gillen
Artists: Daniel Acuna, Ron Garney, Dale Eaglesham, Carlos Pacheco
Collects: Uncanny X-Men (vol. 2) #15-20

Warning: This review is going to contain spoilers for AVX. It's almost unavoidable. This entire volume hinges on the big plot twist of that event. I'm going to attempt to skirt around the identity of the X-Men affected, but be forewarned.

Kieron Gillen's time with the Uncanny X-Men comes to a close with this volume. The book would be immediately relaunched for the second time in as many years, this time with Brian Michael Bendis at the helm. I guess he got tired of writing the Avengers. Damn near ten years will do that to you.

The sad part about it is that it's felt to me like Gillens run never managed to get off the ground. He was on the book for something like thirty five issues, five of them co-written with Matt Fraction. A fair chunk of real estate, but of that number he got to do maybe one or two stories divorced of events or the goings on of the Marvel Universe at large. Looking back, his best issues were frequently single issues he snuck in; the Phalanx and the Mister Sinister issues were easily my favorite of his time with the book.

Unfortunately, most of his run was marred with the sort of problems you see all over this one. This comic makes zero sense unless you've read AVX or at least have a working understanding of what happened in that book. Between this volume and the last, five of the cast have become the Phoenix Five and are all but omnipotent. They immediately decide to make the world an actual utopia, at which point we come in, with not a goddamn lick of that being explained within the comic itself.

This presents some problems beyond the immediately apparent. Near the beginning, they remember Mister Sinister is out there and they should probably go curbstomp him. With little effort, they find him - again, they're basically gods at this point - and commence with said curbstomping.

Obviously, this doesn't go according to plan - I don't think anyone can stretch an ass whopping that one sided for three issues - but it doesn't happen in any believable way. It's pure plot contrivance. They're defeated solely because the plot calls for it, at least up until the Phoenix decides it's better off with the five. Sinister is dispatched immediately after that. Nothing is at stake. There's no explanation to be found, either; I admit that it's been a year since I read the last volume, but I don't recall anything from the rest of the run that could make sense of how the Five were beat.

The worst part is that I'm not sure there was any way around it. Gillens run was ending with this volume and Bendis was coming on board; the Mister Sinister plot had to be wrapped up in some fashion before that happened. But the main X-Men had become demi-gods in the event this book ties into; Uncanny couldn't well ignore what happened, even if it meant there was almost no way to make Sinister a believable - or remotely threatening - adversary to a handful of people backed by the power of a giant fire bird. So I guess the only option was to fudge the lines and wipe the playing field.

After any vestige of plot exclusive to this comic is wiped away, the rest of the volume is your typical "between the panels of the event" tie-in, which is exactly the sort I hate. Gillen, for his part, does a good job of attempting to add to the events of the other book, delving into the warped psyche of the protagonists and attempting to show how deeply this power has compromised them. In fact, he probably adds more depth in his tie-in than the main event had. It comes with the obvious downside though; the last three issues are either a disjointed clip show or an epilogue to someone elses story.

Not exactly how a run by a talented writer should go out.

Most of the art is serviceable, but little stands out to me. Daniel Acuna handles three of the six issues; he's typically a great artist, but his style clashes with everything else we've seen thus far. Ron Garney's work is good, but you won't write home about it. Dale Eaglesham is on for an issue, but that's it; luckily, it depicts a lot of the action from the climax of AVX, so at least he has something interesting to draw.

Carlos Pacheco illustrates the last issue of this run of Uncanny X-Men; it's good to have him back to close out the volume - and tie up any lingering plot threads - but it just serves to remind you how little we actually got of his art We had, what, seven issues total? I'd nearly forgotten that he was supposed to be the regular penciler. They didn't even have him on board to wrap the Mister Sinister story that's been running since the start. Perhaps he just couldn't do it in the time they'd need it. I don't know.

My Opinion: Try It

It's difficult to give a solid opinion on something like this. If you've read up through volume three of Gillens run, you may as well finish. If you're haven't and wonder if the run is worth getting into, I can't bring myself to say yes. It's not really Gillens fault - his dialogue and character interactions are the only reason to even bother - it's just the way this seemed to pan out. We'll see if Bendis will fare better with the franchise; he's a big enough name that he can probably avoid being stuck with whatever event is rolling through the universe.

Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: Quite a few moments are AVX repeats. But man, that second to last issue. Cyclops, now in control of his mental faculties - such as they are - realizes he's killed his mentor on top of making people fear mutants more than ever before. He's over it the second he hears there are new mutants. Even says he'd do it all again. Ice cold.

X-Men: Blank Generation (comics)

"With the plane as our decoy,
we can easily escape!"

Writer: Brian Wood
Artists: David Lopez, Roland Boschi
Collects: X-Men #30-35

I tapped out on this book after X-Men: FF. I gave fair marks to the first two volumes, but that was where it became apparent the writer didn't really get the characters he was working with and the art was not on a level that could save the material as in previous volumes. But then Schism happened.

As you can guess, a new writer came on and the book got a new mission statement - our protagonists are now the "Security Team" of Utopia, whatever the hell that's supposed to mean - so, like most of the franchises books, I gave it another shot. I was a little concerned about the concept, but it's pretty clear it's just a name. They're based in a high tech jet, keep a teleporter around and are constantly on the move; they're really more like a first response group.

Right away they're knee deep in some heavy business. Someone managed to dig up some proto-mutant DNA and weaponize it, which naturally pisses off the mutants, since it's a gross misuse of a new discovery that changes everything they thought they knew about their past. Meanwhile Storm ducks and dodges dealing with Cyclops - which I think any of us might if we had to deal with him - and it causes friction on the team because heaven forbid we don't inform our overlord of everything before we even know what we're dealing with.

Even if it hasn't been done in this exact manner, the "Endangered Species" status quo has been going on for so long that it feels like we've seen a concept like this before. The first four issue arc doesn't even have a particularly climatic ending. There's a couple panel airborne fight, then one character crashes into the stronghold and, without spoiling anything, the threat is over within a page and without a fight.

Luckily, the book relies as much on character dynamics as anything else. Storm is the leader of the team, but it's pretty clear just in her actions that she isn't comfortable dealing with Cyclops, much less even being on the side she's found herself*. Colossus, ever the yes man for Cyke of late, obviously has issues with this.

The art for the first four issues, done by David Lopez, is pretty stellar. Plenty of style, a lot of color and clear action. We even manage to go the entire arc without a gratuitous Psylocke ass shot! The one time we see it, it makes sense for the panel and is not at all posed so you get a cheesecakey view of ninja rump. Keep in mind that I have no issues with some cheesecake art, but artists have a nasty habit of going out of their way to show the Queen of Ass Floss Tights "assets".

Then we have a different artist for the last two issues and it's a downgrade, in my opinion. There are fairly good pages in there. On the other hand, some pages and panels in the latter two issues are just downright ugly. On the plus side, the artist is good at panel composition. Two pages in particular, I'm willing to chalk it up to the artists style just not working for me.

Oh, I'd hate to forget to mention the downright awesome covers by Jorge Molina. Some great, great design there.

My Opinion: Try It

A definite improvement over the last volume I read. I'd say it's worth a read, if not something you want to run out and get. If nothing else, the book has the distinction of starring a team mostly comprised of females - who aren't exploited in the art, either - so if that sounds like it's up your alley then give it a look.

* You'll recall that, in the aftermath special for Schism, she wanted nothing to do with Utopia anymore and had every intention of following Wolverine to the new school before Cyclops guilted her into staying.

Uncanny X-Men by Kieron Gillen vol. 3 (comics)

Writer: Kieron Gillen
Artists: Greg Land, Billy Tan, Dustin Weaver
Collects: Uncanny X-Men (vol. 2) #11-14

Quick question. If you intend to launch an ongoing series, you probably have the intention of running it for a while, right? That seems to be the general idea. Well, not at Marvel! I hope you weren't getting attached to this volume of Uncanny X-Men, because it ends with the next collection.

That's right, this one got as far as twenty issues before another change so dramatic they figured a relaunch was in order. Why did they even do the first relaunch? They had to have had an idea where things were headed back then. Why not just wait until after the big status quo alteration for the full relaunch treatment?

Oh Marvel, you cads.

Anyways, as you can tell by that spiffy banner at the top of the front cover, Uncanny X-Men ended up in the old land of event tie-ins. To be completely fair to Marvel, this doesn't come out of the blue; the previous ten issues were all building up to Avengers vs X-Men. Still, there's something kind of sad about cancelling the over five hundred issue Uncanny X-Men, relaunching it, then letting it last all of twenty issues with ten of them tie-ins to a big event. If they absolutely had to relaunch the book at all, they should have waited for the end of AvX.

Despite having his title relegated to supplementary material for another series, Kieron Gillen makes the best of what he's got. He attempts to add some measure of depth to the proceedings, going so far as to try and give a reason for Namor to be on the side of the X-Men*. This probably shouldn't come as a surprise, but the best scenes all seem to hinge around Namor. Gillen seriously has that character down and his Namor alone has made reading this volume of Uncanny worthwhile.

Sadly, Uncanny's new status as an AvX tie-in comes with all the usual downsides. Most issues now read sort of like a clip show, with no flow between the issues. One issue Dr. Nemesis seems fine, the next he'll be more or less chemically paralyed with Storm and Magneto, who weren't in any of the prior issues. This is not Kieron Gillens fault, but it is still a major drag.

The only real upside is that Gillen manages to sneak in an issue focusing on Mister Sinister; you know, the one plotline Gillen has been able to truly cultivate prior to being hit with AvX. The downside is that if you want to see the conclusion to that, you're going to have to own a couple AvX tie-ins whether you want them or not. I guess you could always get the Sinister focused single issues and skip the trade. In fact, I recommend that.

Artwise, this one's a mixed bag leaning towards bad. I've made mention of Billy Tan before; he's pretty good but kind of workmanlike. Dustin Weavers issue - thanfully the Mister Sinister one - is as amazing as you'd expect. But then we're hit with two full issues of Greg Land art, because for some reason Marvel didn't get the memo that the less readers see of Lands work, the better. Seriously, there's a scene where some characters are near water and Greg Land couldn't even be bothered to draw the goddamn water. He just photoshops in an image of real water. Yeah, THAT doesn't contrast at all.

But man, that one issue of Dustin Weavers sure is pretty.

My Opinion: Try It

Kieron Gillen does his best, but the nature of the tie-in drags down his second to last X-Men volume. Still, he manages to make it worthwhile. I'm in for the last volume, but holy hell do I wish Marvel would have just let the guy do his thing.

Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: Maybe it will read differently in AvX proper, but going by what we see here - which is the background of the pivotal scene where the battle begins - Cyclops starts the war by attacking Captain America with his optic blast. This is, I might add, without any form of physical provocation. You could argue Cap bringing backup just in case was a bad faith attempt at negotiations, but it's not like Cyclops is known for rational thought lately. Oh, and apparently he PLANNED to go to war with the Avengers, because he left the publicist of the X-Men a press release basically declaring his intent to give everyone the middle finger. Kind of amazing Marvel still considers this guy a hero. Cyclops is on a level of sheer douchebag that would make even Silver Age Superman say "damn!"

* As opposed to Captain Americas side. You know, the dude he's been friends with since World War II? Even with the mutant label they threw on him, you'd figure Namor would stay out of it as opposed to fighting Captain America, one of the few men he openly respects. Maybe it's just me.

X-Men Legacy: Back to School (comics)

Rogue's pretty chill for someone
with a dislocated kneecap

Writer: Christos Gage
Artists: David Baldeon, Rafa Sandoval
Collects: X-Men Legacy #250.1, #261-265

As you might recall I gave up on this book completely somewhere around the creepy "no means yes" Rogue and Magneto hookup*. I didn't exactly have any intention of going back either. But the split of the X franchise saw this book fall into the Wolverine half. Apparently it acquired a new writer since the last time I read it too. I much prefer the school setting and I'm an easy mark for Gambit, so I figured there was no harm if seeing whether the franchises new lease on life translated here.

It's a little bit of yes and a little bit of no.

We start off pretty good. An innocent little screwup leads to the X-Men having to fight legally distinct versions of the Xenomorphs from Aliens. If you know me at all, you know I'm all over that. It's a fun little one-shot that even manages to work in some effective comic relief in the faculty trying to keep the war going on outside from the kids.

Next is a small arc centered around the return of some dude named Exodus. Who he is or what he can do isn't adequetly explained; we get some exposition about the last time they fought him, but nothing on why we should care while his powers seem to be "whatever the hell he feels like doing". I imagine he's from Carey's run. The stuff I didn't read.

The Rogue and Magneto... "thing" remains at the fore. This is, after all, Rogues book, despite the expanded focus. I guess the X split left them on a weird long distance note. The "Age of X" nonsense that started the whole thing isn't even mentioned anymore; it's like they're some normal couple going through some distance issues. Rest assured, book, that I sure as hell haven't forgotten that creepy shit.

Rogue, the master of questionable decisions, makes a few with the potential to be interesting. She's the independent one, liable to disobey orders if she feels she's right. Trouble is, like most characters of that ilk, she isn't always right and her decisions come back to bite her in the ass. Turns out the call to Utopia she made - which Wolverine explicitly told her not to - brought the Utopia kids to the battle, putting them in danger and only strengthening their belief that Wolverine and company are only fooling themselves. This, of course, weighs heavily on her, made worse by the clear fact that it's partly because of Magneto, which she is thankfully called out on.

We end on a two parter about a couple of villains - who are basically BFF's - trying to get help from Wolverines X-Men. Weapon Omega's powers are going out of control and he's basically going to explode if something isn't done. What follows is a race against the clock to try and save him - villain or not - in any way they can. It's downright heartwarming at times.

Legacy still struggles with keeping artists for an entire volume at the least. Thankfully, it has two very good ones in Baldeon and Sandoval. I like their styles, so at least the work is good this time. The ridiculous art issues that plagued a past volume or two are thankfully absent this go around.

Is this an improvement? I suppose. Enough of one to bother continuing? I wouldn't go that far.

My Opinion: Skip It

At this point Avengers vs X-Men was just around the corner and after that wrapped Legacy was relaunched with a new mission statement. It isn't even worth attempting to connect with the new status quo unless you just really like these characters. You won't miss anything.

* In case you think I'm kidding, prior to the Aftermath volume, Rogue had been pretty consistent in saying "no, I'm not interested" to Magneto's advances, while he just kept on keeping on with it. After Age of X, we're told their alternate universe selves had feelings for each other - we saw nothing of the sort and if anything there was more there reinforcing Gambit and Rogue than anything - and since Rogue kept all those memories and had some odd form of PTSD she was suddenly shacking up with Magneto, a guy who basically mind-raped her - her words - at one point and killed several of her friends. I can't recall a situation so completely wrongheaded short of that time Carol Danvers was pregnant with her rapist who rapidly aged to adulthood and went off with Danvers who suddenly decided she loved him in the worst case of Stockholm syndrome I've ever seen in fiction**.

** Chris Claremont cleared that one up. He pulled a "what the hell hero" on the Avengers for letting it happen and salvaged Danvers. Sadly, there isn't a Claremont around to play cleanup on Rogue and Magneto.

The Slow Breakdown of the Mutant Metaphor (Op/Ed)

Presenting: The early front-runner for the
most controversial comic of 2013

So, what a mess, right? This one almost flew past me, as I don't follow a lot of comic creators on Twitter. Even after I found out about it, I wasn't sure what was wrong about the scene - from the comic pictured to the left - until it was made pretty clear by other Twitter users. To make matters worse, the writer didn't react well, leading to a big mess.

I'm not really planning to talk about this issue. For one thing, Joe Hughes and Andrew Wheeler have already covered it definitively at Comic Alliance. For two, I'm a straight white male; I don't exactly have anything to add here. It's more about the fact that some seem to fear this damages the metaphor for mutants representing minority struggles.

The trouble is, I think Marvel broke that metaphor a while ago, with this just being the latest hit an already bleeding concept has had to endure.

Not too long after Grant Morrisons New X-Men - a personal favorite of mine - Marvel put out House of M. This, I think, was ground zero. Almost immediately after the "No More Mutants" proclamation, the X-Men shifted to a different mission statement. They were now the endangered species. Survival was the concept at the heart of the team. The X-Men began to resemble an army, not a group of people unfairly prosecuted for their differences.
Ed Brubaker sort of got the ball rolling when he disgraced Xavier in Deadly Genesis, which led to the character losing any influence on the team and losing his purpose. This is important because his entire deal was that he was for peace and acceptance. He was the figure offering a better way, even if it was harder. Now, he was off the team, with many mutants disillusioned regarding him and his message*. It didn't stop there, with most of the questionable moments centering around Cyclops.

The school was trashed again, only this time the X-Men left instead of rebuilding. Education is essentially the root of fixing the problems of the world, but now the X-Men weren't teaching much of anything beyond combat. When someone he doesn't like comes into power and causes problems, Cyclops packs his people up, herds them on an island made of Asteroid M just off the coast of San Francisco and declares them their own nation. The idea of the teenage X-Men being child soldiers is pretty apparent**. Cyclops puts a kill team together to take out the people who could cause mutants the most damage. After a split with half the X-Men, Cyclops named his group the Extinction Team and decides to send the world an ultimatum essentially saying they weren't going to put up with their BS and that they would retaliate if someone even looked at them cross.

Then there's that whole thing about Cyclops being willing to gamble with the planets life over whether a giant fire phoenix will revive the mutant population - even after they know it nuked a planet on its way to Earth - but, uh, that one might not have any implications beyond the fact that Cyclops is kind of a dick.

In fairness, it's not a straight one to one comparison to real life. The X-Men have never been a one to one comparison to any minority group. It's very easy to do great stories without using the racial metaphor at all. But it's a concept embedded in the franchise, meaning that when Marvel greenlit all this, they essentially had the stand-in for minority struggles engage in all of those very questionable acts.

You can see how this might be a problem.

Marvel obviously wants to go back to the well, now that the "endangered species" era is effectively over. Trouble is, how do you really come back from that? I mean, sure, you can do whatever you want in fiction, but how does it work after all that, save a continuity reboot?

But try they will, only trouble being that now we've got a real problem in the dynamic. Cyclops and his group have, to be frank, become a representation of extremists. Even if you think that, in light of Marvel continuity, enough is enough and agree with their position, they are definitely not the good guys here. That leaves Uncanny Avengers to be the other side of the coin. But that is now out the window as well.

So, where's the middle ground here? Cyclops is obviously wrong. People have made it clear Havok is wrong, intentions aside. Not a good situation to have.

Can it be salvaged? Sure. The right writer could theoretically put the house back in order. But the franchise has spent close to ten years slowly breaking the metaphor. It will take a lot of work and even then I'm not sure it can ever be completely fixed. I guess only time will tell.

* And now he's dead - killed by Cyclops - because Marvel couldn't find something to do with the guy who taught peace and understanding.

** Marvel was at least aware of this one; it was central to Schism, where the X-Men split into two groups over it.

Uncanny X-Men by Kieron Gillen vol. 2 (comics)

Writer: Kieron Gillen
Artists: Greg Land, Carlos Pacheco
Collects: Uncanny X-Men #5-10 (2011)

The library insists on stocking a bajillion X-Men books, so you can scratch my statement a while ago that I was done with Cyclops team. I'm not thrilled to get my hands on a volume, but Kieron Gillen is a good enough writer that it's worth borrowing. If it were anyone else writing I probably wouldn't have bothered; as you recall I was not a fan of the Fraction run at all.

Uncanny X-Men seems relegated to aftermath duty this volume, as it tackles the leftovers of an Uncanny X-Force plot. Seems a temporal distortion created a pocket world within it, which went through millions of years in the span of the outside worlds day. Some people who went in to investigate are now missing and Cyclops seems to figure a rescue is in order.

Gillen looks to do some world building in this arc, but I had difficulty connecting with it. It's very exposition heavy and Tabula Rasa frankly did nothing for me. I guess Gillen is setting up a new locale for the Marvel Universe to have some adventures in. Fair enough. Gillens skill managed to keep me interested long enough to make it through the arc. He's very good at injecting levity into proceedings with a well timed gag or sharp line of dialogue. Plus he writes a hell of a Namor; dude will straight up seduce anything if he needs to, to Hopes disgust and our amusement.

If there's a downside, it's that the other two plots are, frankly, pointless. The Colossus and Magik part spans maybe five pages across all four issues and doesn't serve any purpose higher than giving Colossus a chance to reflect on how close the Cyrotek gem brings him to being a monster. Hope chillin' with Namor in the river is given more time - and is the best part of the arc - but it's clearly there mainly to give the two something to do.

For some reason, we're stuck with Greg Land for these four issues. At least he remembers Psylocke is supposed to be asian. Seems like most artists forget that part in their haste to draw her ass into whatever panel she appears; not that Land is above the ass shot, but he does it less here than most. I don't know, standard complaints about Lands art stand, but it feels as though it's not as questionable as it usually is? There are some rough patches but I found less to hate. I'd still prefer someone else.

The other two issues* are ten times better. Carlos Pacheco is back on art for those two issues and Gillen uses the cast to play with the toys he created in the SWORD miniseries**. We don't see that much, so whenever Gillen manages to fit them in is a treat. The only downside here is that it only lasts two issues; it doesn't even require having read SWORD, so anyone can jump in and enjoy it. On top of all that, they have some relevance to other events as well; this is where we start to see the seeds of the conflict to come with the Avengers. These two issues are great reading.

It's a good thing too, because those two issues save this volume; had they been pushed to another volume I'd have said this volume was worth skipping.

The Score: 7 out of 10

The first arc isn't bad, but it's nothing spectacular. It's the last two issues that make the volume worth reading. Pick it up for those issues.

Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: He's really not that bad in this volume. Still, he basically ditches the Avengers - who rightly note that Cyclops has, like, four other teams to either do the rescue or back the Avengers up - to charge headfirst into battle without any idea what is going on or how to handle the situation. Granted, it's trouble involving Hope and it isn't like the Avengers aren't the best heroes in the world, but the X-Men totally dropped out on them with barely a moments notice. Cap, being Cap, doesn't even get mad; just states that Cyclops basically went against his word that the world is his number one priority and proved otherwise. Which, of course, seems to piss the X-Men off judging by the art, because I guess Captain America has no right to question how they do things? Nevermind that it would have taken all of three seconds to send the order for another team to go back the Avengers up.

* Holy crap! Six issues? In a Marvel trade? Shocking, isn't it?

** SWORD was supposed to be an ongoing, actually, but Marvel being Marvel they canceled it before the first issue had even released, cutting it off at five and making it the equivalent of a miniseries. Low pre-orders or something, I guess. They pulled that with She-Hulks as well, a book that clearly suffered for the switch. Hell, they outright canceled a Doctor Doom miniseries because of it. It's one of those habits of theirs I hate.

Uncanny X-Men by Kieron Gillen vol. 1 (comics)

Writer: Kieron Gillen
Artist: Carlos Pacheco, Brandon Peterson
Collects: Uncanny X-Men #1-4 (2011)

You might want to grab something to eat and drink, because this might be a long one.

The X-Men are pretty good stand-ins for just about any minority group - Bryan Singer did a lot of parallels to gays in the films - but I think we can all agree that they were always meant to represent the Civil Rights movement and the general fight for minorities to receive the same rights as white people. The parallels were as on-the-nose as you get; Xaviers Dream was basically Martin Luther King Jr.s idealogy brought to color comics, while Magneto represented the stance of "by any means necessary".

For the longest time, it was pretty clear who the heroes were supposed to be; the X-Men were the group fighting for a better tomorrow for everyone, while Magneto was the man who wanted results right now and would do anything he had to - down to committing straight up genocide - in order to get it. In the past decade, the waters have muddied considerably. Since Cyclops took over for Xavier as the figurehead of the group, the X-Men have slowly but surely veered into ideology resembling Magneto more than Xavier, imbuing the property with the sort of cynicism that befits 90's Anti-Heroes rather than a true group of heroes. Crap like that is what led to Cable.

"By any means necessary" is an attractive mantra. That may even be a fair take for certain characters or groups. But the X-Men are meant to be heroes - to represent something better - and typically heroes are not supposed to go down that road. They are supposed to be the group that believes in a better way and a better tomorrow so we can believe along with them. They may be forced to make tough decisions and take a harder route, but the path closest to the abyss should not even be an option for them. It's why Batman never kills Joker even though we're long since past the point where anyone would blame him. It's not the heroic action; and while Batman may lurk in the darkness, it - as Grant Morrison has laid bare in his run - should never be in his heart.

The X-Men have strayed. It finally came to a head in-universe in Schism, where Wolverine and half the mutants left over it. You'd figure it would have happened sooner - Beast realized where things were going a while ago and reacted accordingly - but better late than never.

Going to those extremes will result in fear. The sad part is that fear happens to be the thing the X-Men have been fighting from the start. Now they've decided to fight it with... more fear. Not a good way to get people to accept you. It breeds resentment. Makes them want to see your downfall. The X-Men have begun to resemble the oppressive instead of the oppressed, which is everything that the humans of the Marvel universe feared. Eventually, that poisoned fruit is gonna come to bear.

Going by this volume, I assume Kieron Gillen realizes that and is deliberately showing that things are going a bit too far. It's made pretty clear those still on Utopia resemble the Brotherhood of Mutants moreso than the X-Men. Everyone there save Storm has at one point been a villain. Everything is harsh, right down to the language. Cyclops labels them the Extinction Team and outright states that they are to fight back with fear. Obviously, this is not going to end well.

Storm is the voice of the reader here, asking "what the hell" of Scott and his ideas. I kind of wondered why she had been kept on the Utopia team - and I'm not sure I completely bought the in-story reasoning from the Tribal War Dance Recruitment Special - but for the purpose of the book her role is clear. She's the voice of reason, the one member that hasn't forgotten what the team represented.

Anyways, I'm rambling on a lot about themes, where the franchise has gone wrong and so forth without really discussing the conflict of the story. Well, it involves Mister Sinister, who has basically hijacked a Celestial and thought taking over folks bodies, essentially making them his clones, would be a good time. Mister Sinister has a bad rep, since he's been a critical part of some of the worst X-Men stories, many from the 90's. Gillen sort of redeems the character through making him an entertaining adversary while sidestepping the crap that made him unbearable at times.

After that we have a one shot supplementing the previous arc - basically explaining how Sinister discovered the means to do the things he did in the main arc - while also telling it's own tidy little tale. It focuses on the last of the Phalanx, which Sinister had captured at some point in the past, sparing it from the death of its kind. The story is almost sad, showing us a monster that does not understand a way of life separate from the hive mind and only wants to hear the collective voice of his bretheran. It's a being caught in the grip of loneliness and - when he discovers there's nothing left of his kind - despair.

The conclusion was foregone - because geez it devoured an entire town without a second thought, what other option did the X-Men have? - but it's a testament to the writing that you feel for it in some small way.

On the art side of things, we have the typically great work you'd expect from Carlos Pacheco. More surprising is the work by Brandon Peterson, whom I'm unfamiliar with. A quick search shows he's been in the business for a while, but if I've seen his work before I can't recall. He's pretty good at drawing the X-Men, but it's his depiction of the Phalanx that stands out. They look like this creepy mix of metal and code come to life, similar to how I've seen the alter ego of Cipher drawn in the past. I'm not sure if they've always looked that way or not, but the art is effective nonetheless.

So, great writing and good art combined with a continuance of a direction I've hated for years now. Ain't that always the way?

The Score: 7.5 out of 10

This volume of Uncanny X-Men is well written and well drawn, but I have a hard time getting into it. While Wolverine and the X-Men took a wonderful, fun approach that built on the basics the X-Men have thrived on for so long, this book is the evolution of everything the X franchise has done in the past eight years or so. It's an approach that seems to betray the X-Men and is, ultimately, not for me. Even so, it's an enjoyable read. Enough that I'll continue if the library keeps it stocked. I'm curious as to whether the kingdom eventually crumbles.

Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: I think this might be the most blatant example of all. Dude flat out drafts a letter to the nations of the world saying "we'll still protect you if you need it, but if you so much as look at us funny we're going to kick your ass". Setting aside that this is basically a threat that justifies many of the fears people had of mutants - without a direct visible counterpoint as the X-Men used to be to Magneto - it's basically just asking to be wiped out. Keep in mind that, thus far, they've managed to get away with seceding from the US on their own little island nation - actions that I'd say are typically frowned upon - have deaths directly tied to them and have Magneto of all people on the team. There's such a thing as pushing your luck; I may have said it before, but if someone were to feel threatened and drop a nuke or something on Utopia, maybe all of three people would have a mutant power that would save their ass.

This, of course, being part of his brilliant plan to make everyone fear the X-Men so they don't try anything. Because there's no way that could possibly go wrong. It's not like they ever, say, feared Magneto - who threatened total global catastrophe on more than one occasion - and attacked anyways before, right? Oh Cyclops, you tactical genius.

Also, the Extinction Team? Scott, you asshole. How do you THINK people are going to take that one?

X-Men: FF (comics)

Writer: Victor Gischler
Artists: Jorge Molina, Will Conrad, Mirco Pierfederici
Collects: X-Men Vol. 3 #15.1, 16-19

So far the third volume of X-Men had been a fun enough read. "Curse of the Mutants" was decent enough for what it was. With Great Power was a hair better. There was an interim volume - X-Men: First to Last - but it wasn't anything special and I didn't have much to say about it. It wasn't by the regular writer anyways.

So that brings me to X-Men: FF, which is the first volume of the book that I feel outright failed.

The plots aren't anything special. The FF find some interdimensional bouy out in the Bermuda Triangle (Spider-Man is the one who discovers it, in fact, though for some reason that'll be the only time you see him). The FF call in the X-Men. They all go into another dimension on a rescue mission.

Unfortunately, the writing feels weaker than usual. The flow of the plot feels off at times and we have the by-now-expected issue of the characters not sounding themselves, Doctor Doom being the only real exception. This has been a consistent problem with Gischlers run on this book, but it's made worse here by the inclusion of another team of characters he doesn't seem to get.

This is not entirely unexpected; Gischlers run on X-Men hasn't had what you'd call great writing. It's competant enough to skate by when paired with fun plots. Problem is, FF is kind of a clunker. There isn't anything particularly interesting going on and anything new he introduces won't exactly qualify as original. I'm not entirely sure why it had to be another dimension the teams traveled to, as this story could just as easily have worked in the Savage Land. There are even dinosaurs running around.

Wonderful art has made up for problems with the writing in the past. Gischler doesn't have as much luck this time. The art is perfectly fine - hell, I'd go so far as to say it's pretty good overall - but there's nothing about it that might differentiate it from most of the artists in Marvels stable. It doesn't have the flair or uniqueness of a Paco Medina or Chris Bachalo, who both worked on earlier volumes, so it does not have as much luck drawing attention away from the iffy writing.

There's a point one issue stuffed in here as well - with the very short lived female Ghost Rider showing up - but it's completely forgettable. Something about ancient spirits. It's nothing you'll bother to recall when you're done reading it.

The Score: 5 out of 10

By far the weakest entry into the third volume of X-Men to date. It's self contained and affects nothing. Skip it.

Wolverine and the X-Men Vol. 1 (comic)

Writer: Jason Aaron
Artists: Chris Bachalo, Nick Bradshaw
Collects: Wolverine and the X-Men #1-4

You'll recall in my review of Schism that I named this the book I was looking forward to the most out of anything. Funnily enough, I ended up reading the Uncanny X-Men relaunch first. I didn't review it - I've yet to decide if I want to - and in case I don't bother the short version is Cyclops and his not-so-merry band of X-Men continue to be stuck too far up their own asses. This comic is the exact opposite; it's funny, visually interesting, packed with great characters and never dull.

It's the X-Men book I've been waiting a long time for.

The setup will be familiar to almost anyone; we're back on the school grounds again, arguably where the X-Men belong. Schism surprisingly plays more of a role here than it did in Uncanny. The Kid Helfire Club - who you'll recall orchestrated everything that happened in Schism - decide it would be pretty funny if Logans new school blew up on the first day. So they blow it up on the day the board of education is visiting the school to evaluate. Hilarity ensues. Also Krakoa is involved. This all takes place in the first three issues, I remind you. The fourth issue is a standalone bridging our introductory arc and what comes next.

At first I felt Jason Aaron got the raw deal out of the split, with most of the power players sticking with boring Scott and his sinking island, but as it turns out he got the better end of the bargain. His eclectic group of mutants immediately proves themselves an engaging group, even as it becomes clear they're way out of their depth. The new kids are endearing and the old favorites are just as great. Everything simply works right from the first issue.

You can probably imagine my delight when I found out Chris Bachalo was on art duties. Turns out, he manages three issues before we need a fill in. But they are three stylish, visually striking issues. His exagerrated, animated style works perfect for a book like this; there are a couple of panels that aren't entirely clear in their storytelling, but they end up being minor issues in an otherwise beautiful book. Nick Bradshaw is also a strong artist in his own right and if he's the guy they have in mind for trading off art duties with Bachalo I'll have no complaints.

But there's just one other problem that has nothing to do with the contents themselves. The issue count. They want fifteen dollars SRP for four issues. This is quickly becoming standard at Marvel and it's starting to work on my last nerve. Once in a while is fine, but deliberately splitting stories or putting in a low issue count just to get more money out of the consumer is just low. I'm even more annoyed this time, because this is a series I'm buying rather than borrowing from the library.

The Score: 9 out of 10

If you are an X-Men fan and you don't like this book, I can only conclude that you either hate fun or are one of those odd souls that prefer King Cyclops and his team of villains.

X-Men: Schism (comic)

Writers: Jason Aaron, Kieron Gillen
Artists: Carlos Pacheco, Frank Cho, Daniel Acuna, Alan Davis, Adam Kubert, Billy Tan
Collects: X-Men: Schism #1-5, X-Men: Regenesis

I guess you could say this is a story that's been in the making since Wolverine first joined the X-Men. Perhaps what's important to you is the fact that the group is splitting up into two sides with two entirely different mission statements. For me, the most important part is the fact that I've finally got an X-Men comic I completely enjoyed with the promise of more in one of the series launched in Schisms wake.

I guess it had to happen at some point.

It starts out simple enough. Cyclops and Wolverine represent Utopia at an arms conference - because in the Marvel universe, all you have to do to become a country is herd two hundred people on a rock and call yourselves one - to ask nations of the world to disarm their Sentinels. Who knows if he would've managed to get anywhere, because Quentin Quire shows up and decides it would be a good time to make a complete mess of things by forcing the worlds leaders to embarrass themselves on live television. Guess how they react. Worse still, this is all part of the plan of the new Hellfire Club. On top of that, Wolverine is growing increasingly agitated over the use of kids in their little mutant wars. Cyclops doesn't help matters by insisting on it.

A lot of the book is a conflict of ideology, with the fisticuffs only coming into play in the last third. Cyclops sees himself as a General in a war, willing to use whatever is necessary to survive and win. On the flipside, Wolverine is a man who has found himself tired of seeing kids grow up without childhoods, knowing only how to fight. The tensions only increase over the five issues until Wolverine is ready to blow up Utopia to force everyone to evacuate - as opposed to Cyclops, who wants to risk the kids by leading them into battle with a huge Sentinel - and, out of options, Cyke goes for the verbal equivalent of a low blow. What Wolverine says next hits a little too close to home and the fight is on.

To a certain extent, you can look at Schism as a story of men who, over time, have changed. Cyclops barely even resembles the character he was before and I've detailed my disdain for that several times in the past. Wolverine, on the other hand, has become less a loner and more like a gruff parent who only wants what's best for the kids. It's a change that's happened over time and tracks well; he always took young wayward teens under his wing and tried to show them the way. The direction he's gone in only makes sense for his character and with the X-Men now resembling an army - one with child soldiers whose main education is in fighting - you get the feeling this is the only way it could have ended.

Ultimately, who is right is left up to your own individual opinion. As you can guess, I'm with Wolverine and think Cyclops is a complete ass, but Jason Aaron has gone out of his way to make it so that feeling the opposite is a legitimate view as well. This can be seen pretty clearly in the ending conflict of the book. Schism couldn't resist making Cyclops ultimately "right"* - he, Wolverine and the kids DO manage to push back the Sentinel, as he believed - but it doesn't forget to balance the scale; as Wolverine points out, it doesn't really matter that they COULD do it, the point being that the kids should not be forced into positions like the one Idie found herself in, as has been necessary in the Cyclops Army. You could take either side and Schism will not go out of its way to make you feel like you are wrong, unlike the inexplicably beloved "Civil War" event.

On the whole, Schism is a well written book that opens up different avenues for the franchise. If you actually like the way the X-Men books have been since House of M, well, I have no clue how to understand your point of view, but you could keep up with Uncanny X-Men and the other books following his side. If you're with Wolverine and want to read a book with a more traditional approach, you can follow him back to Westchester in Wolverine and the X-Men. Works for me. Guess which book I'll be reading.

The art situation is... complicated. There are five different pencillers, each assigned to an issue. Normally, this would be the sort of thing I would slam a book for. Trouble is, each and every one of the artists used is a great. They all do fine work, to boot. If I had to lodge a complaint, it would be that Acuna's art does not really fit with the other four, but that's about it.

The X-Men: Regenesis one-shot - scripted by the talented Kieron Gillen with art by Billy Tan - is also included here. It's not really necessary - the book is basically a "who will go with which side" deal juxtaposed against some weird tribal standoff representing the split of the "tribe" - but it's a nice inclusion that gives you an idea of which side you might find your favorite X-Men on. The art by Billy Tan is decent. I've never had a problem with his artwork, though I suppose he suffers a bit by comparison, given the number of great artists collected in the rest of the volume.

The Score: 8.5 out of 10

Against all odds, we get an X-Men event that manages to complete it's mission statement and be legitimately good. Who'd have guessed? X-Men: Schism is definitely worth a read, even if you just want to see the Wolverine/Cyclops brawl they finally decided to get around to years after the imitator**. Schism has me interested in Wolverine and the X-Men as well; we'll see if that's the X-Men book I've been waiting for.

Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: The book takes great pains to keep Cyke from being too much of a dick and ruining his side of the argument, but he still has a few moments of his now patented brand of douchebaggery. Giving a troubled girl with questionable control over her powers the go ahead to "do what she has to" when the adults "won't make it in time"? Gee, I wonder how THAT plan will end? Also, see the complete dick move Cyke pulls when he brings up Jean Grey and tells Wolverine she not only never loved him, but was frightened of him. She had absolutely no bearing on anything; Cyclops was just pissed Wolverine left him with no options and decided to take the cheapest shot he could. He doesn't particularly care for the reply.

* Cyclops has been sort of a writers pet since as far back as Ed Brubakers run onwards. For some reason, writers have had a hard-on for the character, going out of their way to make him either right or "cool". They even gave him a jetpack. For me, it never worked. I just ended up hating Cyclops.

** I'm talking about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles here. The relationship between Leonardo and Raphael has always been a carbon copy of the antagonism between Cyclops and Wolverine. They took almost as long as the X-Men to stop dancing around it and just have the two duke it out. That happened in the fourth TMNT film, which was done in CGI instead of live action. Decent film, if not particularly memorable. The Leo/Raph fight is worth watching online if you don't feel like seeing the whole thing.

Astonishing X-Men: Monstrous (comic)

Writer: Daniel Way
Artists: Jason Pearson, Nick Bradshaw
Collects: Astonishing X-Men #36-37, 39, 41

I've never been a believer in the notion that some titles should end when a story ends or a creative team leaves - serial superhero comics do not work that way for one and it just creates another damned "volume" to keep track of when it's inevitably relaunched for two - so I never had a problem with Astonishing X-Men continuing once Joss Whedon and John Cassaday finished their acclaimed run. It certainly helps that Warren Ellis put forth a pretty good effort, even if he didn't always hit the heights of the books past. With Ellis now gone, Astonishing marches on as the accessible, continuity light X book*; for this period Marvel figured the book should switch off creative teams telling their own story. This volume collects one of those stories.

I've always liked the idea of an island filled with monsters, so I'm always down with seeing Monster Island. Apparently, there's a bunch of oil under it too. Roxxon - whom you may know as Marvels version of a cartoonishly evil corporation - naturally wants it. So, of course, they go and hire an unstable supervillain to team with their employees tasked with blowing up Monster Island so they can get at it. They are then shocked when the villain turns on them, takes control of every monster there and then holds them for ransom. Meanwhile, some of Armors family has died, which is how the X-Men end up in Tokyo for the monster related shenanigans.

Daniel Way, the writer for the arc, is about as hit or miss as they come, in my estimation. I've liked some of his work - at one point I read a big hardcover of the first year of his Deadpool run, which was pretty good - and did NOT care for others. Monstrous sits somewhere in the middle. For every one thing I like, there's one negative to match it. I like that Way sticks with a theme of family, which is almost foreign these days. But then we have Armors dad, the stereotypical Japanese father**. Bunch of monster wrecking Tokyo? Tempered by the fact that things go laughably wrong when Way attempts to write an accent for Wolverine.

One problem that stands above the others is the fact that the book doesn't seem to give enough time to the things it probably should. Either things needed a bit more shuffling around or the book needed another issue. For instance, the story ends on Armors father finally accepting her life as a hero, but it doesn't feel earned; the last time we saw him prior, he was urging her to stand with her family and the moment where he realizes how important her other life is - when he watches her save others during the monster attack on television - happens off panel.

Then there's the fact that not nearly enough time is spent on Armor actually dealing with the loss of some of her family. We don't see much of the wake or her interactions with her father outside of it. Considering Armors powers draw from her deceased ancestors, it almost feels as though that half of the story only happened to give her a power boost.

Ah, and the villain. Some Z lister named Mentallo. I've never seen him before and had no idea what his deal was prior to this story. I can't say I would feel too bad if we never saw him again either. Aside from controlling some monsters to smack the X-Men around, he doesn't have a lot going for him.

I don't know; I didn't hate it, but the more I think about it the less Monstrous did for me.

Also problematic is the art situation. Mostly because we have four issues here and it switches artists after two. Why? It's not like this story is structured like a typical arc, with consecutive issues. Both #38 and #40 - not collected in this volume - belong to a different story, giving a month extra per issue to get the job done. What happened?

Regardless, Jason Pearson handles the first half; like the writing, there are things I like and things I don't. I'm fond, for example, of his Cyclops. The lines on Cykes suit are drawn much thicker here, which looks pretty great. Also a keeper is the fact that the colorist for his issues decided on black and gold for his costume as opposed to the typical blue and gold. They're small, simple alterations, but I thought they were improvements. On the downside, his Wolverine needs some work; the near constant bug eyed expression he's drawn with is downright odd. If he worked on his expressions somewhat, I wouldn't mind seeing Pearsons work again.

Nick Bradshaw handles the other half of the story. There's much less for me to talk about here. Whereas Pearsons work is stylized, Bradshaw gives us something a bit more standard. It's some rock solid art; nothing outstanding about it but nothing to dislike either.

Oh, on a final note, apparently Marvel threw in an old issue of Strange Tales to help justify the seventeen dollars they want for this four issue collection. I guess the official word would be that it's there because it has Fin Fang Foom. Like most old issues thrown in to pad a small volume, it's fine as a curiosity but you can never get past the knowledge that it's there for no other reason than to scam a few more dollars out of you.

The Score: 5.5 out of 10

It's alright. I wouldn't recommend a purchase, but if you see it at the library and need some X-Men it might be worth a read through. This volume is far from Astonishing X-Men's finest hour, but I must admit I'm glad to see Marvel is sticking with the idea of an X book that's light on continuity.

Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: Immediately upon finding out the monster raging through Tokyo is under mind control, Cyclops figures they may as well just kill it anyways. Captain Kill'emall himself, Wolverine, is the one who steps up to say "hey, wait a minute, this is not his fault". Sure, it's a practical move - obviously they're out to save the lives of others as well as their own - but he doesn't even bother to consider another option before deciding. Not particularly heroic.

*This is a GOOD THING, mind you. I personally think it should be standard for every big franchise - Batman, Avengers, X-Men or so on - to have a book that strives to be accessible and keeps continuity wrangling to a minimum. They should also be books the companies put some of their best talent on, but I'm probably asking for too much with that one.

** I'm not sure if this is on Way or if her dad was always like that. I'm admittedly not as big a Marvel guy as I am DC, so my knowledge is a bit lacking in that area. For all I know Daniel Way is just following his established personality here.

X-Men Legacy: Lost Legions (comics)

Writer: Mike Carey
Artist: Khoi Pham
Collects: X-Men Legacy #250-253

Here we are, back again, with what is likely to be my last volume of X-Men Legacy. The last one was just so... yuck that I pretty much haven't felt like reading, much less reviewing, comics recently. Frankly, the last one was so aggressively dull - and questionable - that I would not have continued if I didn't already have this volume in my possession.

Hot on the heels of last volumes events - where we learned several of Legions personalities were running free - we find the cast looking to reclaim them. I mean, they're seperate personalities of a mentally unstable dude each with a power set of their own. You can't just kick back, call it a day and hope somebody else deals with it, especially when one is fond of draining souls and using the bodies like puppets.

This volume redeems the book a little bit. For one, it's a far more straightforward adventure; a far cry from last volume, where a blind mutant mused about bad things coming for the X-Men while semi-invisible giant spiders roamed around and Rogue decided to go have sex with an old homicidal egomaniac. The pleasant characterization returns and hell, Professor X is actually allowed to do something for once, so it can't be all bad.

It's just that there isn't anything remarkable about it. It's good enough that, had last volume not occurred, I may well have continued, but not good enough to erase that sour taste. I'm not sure there was any one element that did it - or if I could even pinpoint what the tipping point was for me - but the previous volume well and truly soured me on this book.

Yet again, we have another artist. It is, of course, no one from the previous two volumes I read, because apparently "regular artist" is a foreign concept to this book. Still, it's Khoi Pham and the work is very, very good. Clean, expressive and far from the muddy, inconsistent art the book has had previously. Frankly, they should have had Pham on from the start.

On the whole, this isn't a bad volume, but it isn't enough to have me keep going. But then, I believe Carey only has one volume left, so who knows. Maybe if it's in the library and I have nothing else to read I'll give it a shot.

The Score: 7 out of 10

And so the search for a good X-Men book continues. Somebody has to put out a good one eventually, right?

X-Men: Legacy - Aftermath (comic)

Writer: Mike Carey
Artists: Paul Davidson, Harvey Tolibao, Jorge Molina, Rafa Sandoval
Collects: X-Men: Legacy #242-244, 248-249

As you'll recall, I read and enjoyed the previous volume, which ended with issue #241. Well, somehow, in the time between that issue and #242, the book took a nosedive so sharp I think I got whiplash from it. I do not know what the hell happened, but the end result is a particularly odd, boring and downright ridiculous read .

First off, this volume essentially bookends a separate story, that being Age of X. If you want to read the series or stories sequentially, it requires you to read half a trade paperback, go read another one, then pick the first one up where you left off. I hate that stunt with a passion. Daniel Ways Deadpool series did it once, too, when the book crossed over with Thunderbolts. They had the good sense to collect everything in order when they did the big whopping hardcover release though.

So already we're off to a bad start.

The first half deals with some crap that happened after Second Coming. Essentially, a dude got his hands chopped off and has PTSD over it. Then there's a damn Omega Sentinel the X-Men keep around that I don't recognize who loses her shit - I would never have seen THAT one coming! - at which point the Little Depressed Boy kills her. Of course, his attitude beside, he made the right decision - that one sentinel was wiping the floor with the X-Men present at the time - but apparently he's a demon for stopping her. Then there's some giant spider that can only be viewed in some angles and I just don't even know what the hell all that was about. It sounded like it played off something earlier in the run, but it came out of nowhere and wasn't much more than a fake-out.

After that, we skip ahead to right after Age of X. Everyone is kind of flipping out because they have memories of an entire life lived in the alternate dimension. Most get their memories wiped. This is the point when the writing completely loses track of its own series internal continuity, as suddenly we're told that Rogue and Magneto's alternate forms had feelings for each other in Age of X, something that would have been handy to see. Of course, Rogue decides to keep the memories from the other life because she made a promise to remember the people there who didn't exist and Gambit tells her to screw off until she has her head on straight - admittedly, a moment long overdue - and geez, let's just dispense the pretense and say it's nothing more than an excuse for Rogue to keep these "feelings" and go ride Magnetos magnetic pole.

Oh, I didn't mention that, did I? Rogue shacks up with Magneto.

This is... wow. Magneto takes her to a Holocaust museum and tells her a story about how he killed someone and could sleep well at night. He then pulls a "I know I'm bad for you, so you best run back to Gambit, but if he ever hurts you" trick. Stories of murderin' and preserved corpses apparently turn Rogue on - because of course they do - so she decides it would be a great idea to hook up with thus guy, because she "wants what's bad for her". This also happens immediately after Magneto tells her he wishes she feared him, because it suits his ego better.

Hoooo-ly shit. I'm not usually someone who is always bothered by this kind of thing, but this is on another level. Who thought this was a good idea*? How did such a decent book go from respectable read to boring to mind boggling so quickly?

For the proverbial cherry on top, the book employs an army of artists just to keep things moving. Four artists for five issues. As such, we've got numerous stylistic shifts and geez it's rough. What happened to Clay Mann? There were some rough spots, but at least he brought visual consistency to the book. This is just all over the map.

I hated this. A lot. Just really, really questionable stuff here wrapped up in a package so boring I practically snoozed. I'm giving this series one more shot - some shenanigans with Legions numerous personalities sounds like an alright time - but if I hadn't already borrowed a copy of the next volume I would have dropped it right here. Avoid. Just avoid.

My Opinion: Burn It

* Probably the same people who thought what happened in Sentry: Fallen Sun (ha ha geddit) was a good idea. At least you can say no one read that comic. Not so here.

X-Men: Prelude to Schism

Writer: Paul Jenkins
Artists: Roberto De La Torre, Andrea Mutti, Will Conrad, Clay Mann
Collects: X-Men: Prelude to Schism #1-4

This book is a bit of a failure; on the one hand it's generally enjoyable, but it's not really a prelude to anything, which is problematic when the main reason you're likely to read this book is because of it's "prelude" branding.

If you didn't already know what Schism was going to be about - or what the differences are that would lead to it - then this isn't the place to look, because you won't find anything about it here. There's a lot of hand wringing over a vague "threat" but not much else. Everything is so ill defined they could literally be preparing for just about any kind of threat from Krakoa to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

Each issue is centered around the same fifteen minutes, just with a shift in POV, and those fifteen or so minutes aren't exactly riveting. Cyclops ponders the course of action! People talk! Wolverine wants to fight whatever the thing that's coming is! Kitty Pryde wants to run from it! Watch Cyclops consult two different advisors on what he should do, then stand around and think about how he can't control his powers without a visor! Edge of your seat excitement all around!

So, yeah. Not exactly going to be in the Eisner nominations. Even being as horrifically vague as it is, the book still seems to contradict Schism; Wolverine here is gung-ho about everyone going to fight, when Schism's big split is over Wolverine feeling that the X-Men have been drafting kids to war too much for too long. This miniseries could have been drafted at the last minute or in the works for a while, but either way Jenkins clearly wasn't told much about where it was going.

Much of the book is inner monologue and flashbacks. I can't say I'm a fan of all of it - a fair bit of it may as well be the POV characters mentally fellating Cyclops - but it does allow Jenkins an opportunity to highlight the differences of each characters approach to life and struggle. This goes hand in hand with flashbacks detailing key moments in the early lives of each character. It's nice to see - I even learned a thing or two I didn't know prior - but while it's ultimately pleasant to read, I didn't go into this hoping to get the life story and origins of the four principle characters. Plus it doesn't really lead to Schism in any appreciable way.

Overall, this was a very weird read; it has its good points but it doesn't hit its stated goals in any real way. Paul Jenkins makes it readable. But was it necessary? I'm afraid the answer to that one is a no.

The Score: 5.5 out of 10

A bizarre collection that feels as though it were green lit to get an extra tie-in volume out there. Schism itself looks like a pretty good read, but I'm afraid this is just okay. It doesn't even truly serve as a prelude, which kills any worth the book may have had. I cannot recommend it.

Avengers vs X-Men: It's Coming (comics)

Writers: Too many to count.
Artists: I lost track.
Collects: House of M #8, X-Men: Second Coming #1, X-Men Schism #5, Avengers: The Childrens Crusade #7, Magneto: Not a Hero #1, Avengers X-Sanction #1, material from Point One

On the one hand, I get why Marvel does this. On paper, it sounds like a good idea. Take a smattering of comics that lead up to an event and collect it in a volume. I get it. But man, these things are, ultimately, stupid.

As you can tell, not a one issue collected in here amounts to a full story. We either get the beginning of one or the very end, with one lone instance of an issue culled from the middle of a story. Some of it seems loosely connected at best; how exactly is "Magneto: Not A Hero" relevant to a big fight between two teams over Hope and the Phoenix?

What we're left with is a series of moments that mean nothing. We see this Hope girl throughout the collection, but who the hell is she supposed to be? Other than being the first mutant born since M-Day, why is she even significant? Does she even have powers? The event is supposed to be about the Phoenix, so how does she play into the big old firebird? And why is Cyclops such a dick?

To be fair, I don't think that last one can be adequately answered, much less in one volume, but otherwise none of the reasonable questions you may have are supplied with answers.

For something that is supposed to prime you for the coming event, it ultimately tells you little unless you've already read the damn stories and kept up with press releases. Which, you know, are clearly things the mythical "new reader" does regularly. I guess you could say it's meant to be a refresher course for regular fans, but come on; we're talking about the people who don't forget a single moment of continuity and bitch about it regularly. Perhaps it's even for people like me, who don't pay a lot of attention to Marvel events; but again, this thing doesn't tell you much, so if that's the case, allow me to say that it did a pretty poor job of it. Not matter what its purpose may be, it fails.

They'd have been better off printing a checklist of trades to buy that might be relevant to the event, should anyone wish to brush up, but then again, they can't exactly charge you twenty dollars for that.

My Opinion: Burn It

X-Men: With Great Power (comics)

Writer: Victor Gischler
Artists: Chris Bachalo, Al Barrionuevo
Collects: X-Men (vol. 3) #7-11

It's Round Two for Victor Gischler on X-Men. Does he come out or the corner swinging? Or are we in for another fair-yet-disappointing outing like last time?

Gishlers sophomore arc has a few select X-Men teaming with Spider-Man. Seems kids are going missing back in New York and Cyclops - who seems to be taking a break from being a massive dick this volume - decides he can't find anything just as good for the image of the X-Men close to home and sends them across the country. Things get a bit cold-blooded from there as it looks like The Lizard is the culprit.

The one off issue after the main arc has the X-Men throw a birthday party for Jubilee, whose teeth are a bit pointier after the events of last volume. Jubes, no longer one to pass up a good chance for some angst, blows the whole thing off to go brood, not realizing Batman has that market cornered. Sensing the danger of infringing on Batmans territory - or worried about her, whatever - Professor X goes to cheer her up with a tale from the days when he went on rad adventures prior to the eight or nine times he went through the process of being crippled and subsequently healed.

He's currently able to walk, by the way; much as I hope he stays that way this time, I have a nasty feeling it's a matter of time before some writer drops a rock on his legs or something.

Victor Gischler continues to have problems writing certain characters, unfortunately. While his Wolverine doesn't say anything quite as dumb as "come get some" this time, he still sounds off. Same for his Gambit. He does an okay Spidey, though, having the character as a wisecracker who constantly verges on annoying. The plot is otherwise standard fare; it's nothing to write home about, but Gischler gives his artistic partner interesting things to draw - like the heroes turned to lizard men - often enough to make it worthwhile.

Speaking of the art, Chris Bachalo's on tap here. He is, as usual, completely awesome. I know some folks don't care for his work much, but the more I see of Bachalo the more I'm convinced they should be arrested for being so horribly wrong. I love the way he draws everyone, especially Spidey. His Spideys white eyes are huge round saucers, which has the effect of making Spider-Man look adorable and/or constantly amazed at everything he sees. I love it. Also, more awesome layouts.

If Bachalo could handle a monthly schedule on a well written book, I'd be one happy dude; as it is, his work makes a story that is merely alright completely worth the read.

The one off is a bit clunky as far as the writing goes, but it's enjoyable enough. It features Professor X as a bald hunter in Africa way back when, which I'm totally on board with. Unfortunately, it also features more angsty Jubilee, which I'm not quite as down with. Someone needs to inform every living writer that Twilight selling about a bajillion copies does not mean that stories of vampires angsting all the time is suddenly anything other than a pile of shit. It's still shit; middle aged women just inexplicably gained a fetish for bodily waste. The only thing related to shit that vampires should be in contact with is the asses they kick.

Art duties go to some other dude for this one. It's decent, but occasionally off, mostly in the present day pages; for the most part the flashback stuff is perfectly fine work. I'm going to cut the guy some slack because next to Chris Bachalos work just about anything is going to suffer in comparison.

The Score: 7 out of 10

I have concluded that I need more Chris Bachalo art in my life. Oh, and this volumes not too bad, I guess. It makes a hell of a lot more sense than last time did, anyways. Give it a look if you appreciate Chris Bachalo art, otherwise drop the score half to a full point.