Incredible Hulk by Jason Aaron vol. 2 (comics)

Writer: Jason Aaron
Artists: Jefte Palo, Steve Dillon, Pasquel Ferry, Tom Raney, Dalibor Talajic, Carlos Pacheco
Collects: Incredible Hulk #7.1, #8-15

I liked volume one, but it left me concerned. While the high concept flipped the script on the Hulk in an interesting way, the things it said about Banner were not exactly kind. Turns out Jason Aaron knew what he was doing all along.

Too bad it stops here.

At the conclusion of the first volume, Banner had perished in the battle with Hulk. Or so we thought. After Hulk enjoys some time without Banner, he realizes his other half isn't quite as gone as he thought. What follows is a romp through the Marvel Universe, as Hulk tries his hardest to stay angry and somehow figure out what nefarious plan Banner has up his sleeve. But everything is not quite as it seems.

Jason Aaron broke away from the pack to become one of my favorite writers in a short amount of time and at least a part of that comes down to his sense of humor. Even a fairly serious story will be littered with a well time piece of dialogue or sight gag. Wolverine and the X-Men has a ton of it. His Ghost Rider run had a bunch of outlandish, ridiculous crap that you couldn't help smiling at. His Wolverine run had cancer bullets. A Jason Aaron comic stands out because it gives you things you never even thought of. The second and final volume of his Hulk has more of this type of levity than the first did and is better for it. I won't spoil some of the better moments, but suffice to say it made a decent comic even better.

Better than that is the fact that the story answers the question of what exactly was up with Banner in a satisfying way that doesn't really throw the character under the bus. Many Hulk writers have explored the MPD angle of the Hulk, but no one ever touches the implications. Hulk is a part of Banner, right? He's an undeniable part of Bruce Banner, the past he repressed most of his life, given physical form whenever he loses his temper. Yet Banner always wanted to get rid of Hulk. What happens when you do manage to eradicate a part of yourself? Nothing good could possibly come of that, right?

Turns out that question drove this story all along. I'm still not sure it speaks well of Banner - without Hulk, the manifestation of Banners rage, the history of insanity in his family comes to the fore - but it explains a lot and it's a novel take on the formula. Also a plus is the fact that, when whole, Aarons version of Banner is not a total douchebag, which was a problem in Indestructible Hulk.

Everything wraps up in a satisfying manner, clearing the deck for the next era, which would be the aforementioned Indestructible. The only real question I had pertained to Dr. Doom, more specifically what was going on with him. I assume it relates to events elsewhere in the Marvel universe, but there isn't even a "check ____ for the full story" footnote to help you find out. It isn't super important to the story, so it doesn't matter much in the long run, but it's an odd omission.

Unfortunately, there are a couple strikes against this. The least important of the two is the issue of length. At sixteen issues - including the point one in the number - it's the shortest run Jason Aaron has had on a Marvel property that I'm aware of. The first volume is good, but not quite great. The second is far better - as well as the point where it feels like Aaron has really settled in - but before you know it, the ride is over. Too long to be a punchy statement on the character, but too short to leave any sort of impact. The next Hulk series doesn't even reference it.

Worse is the art situation. Volume ones art was, well, not great. Volume two has the opposite problem. I'm sure you've noticed the artist list up top; no less than six people worked on this volume, most at one issue a piece. Most of it is good - Steve Dillon does the issue where Punisher guest stars and it's good to see him draw the character again, even if the issue seems to exist entirely for the "shoot me in the face" gag - but the result is a volume that lacks any sort of visual identity. It's offset by the fact that each issue is its own story within the arc, but even so, that's about eight artists for sixteen issues.

All told, between its length and the art, Jason Aarons Hulk is probably not going to go down as a definitive run. That's a shame. Maybe we'll see him take another crack at it in the future. Regardless, the story he did tell turned out to be worth it in the end and at two volumes it isn't exactly a big money sink, so I recommend it regardless.

My Opinion: Read It

Superman: Earth One vol. 2 (comic)

Writer: J Michael Straczynski
Artist: Shane Davis
Original Graphic Novel

Well, I guess volume one was a fluke, because they already blew it with the second.

To back up for a moment, I thought the first volume of Superman: Earth One was a pretty decent effort. I enjoyed its portrayal of Clark Kent as a confused young man trying to find a place he could feel comfortable while doing the most good. So, a typical young adult. A fair bit of the Comics Internet hated it, but I noticed at the time that most of loudest detractors were often the ones who had strict, rigid ideas about who Superman is and who he should be. Flawed as it was - Tyrell is such a forgettable villain that, two years later, I can't even remember what his deal was - it had merit.

Volume Two doesn't.

Not everything about it is bad. At least this time they go with a recognizable villain in Parasite. The artwork of Shane Davis is still good. But there are some wrongheaded notions at the core of this book and they're serious enough to sink it.

One of which is its odd portrayal of women. Lois Lane has a small role in this book and every page of it concerns a downright unhealthy obsession with finding out whatever it is she thinks Clark Kent is hiding. This is not necessarily news for the franchise, but it hits an uncomfortable note fairly quick. It comes off as obsessive and occasionally downright stalkerish with little justified reason for her skepticism. It reaches a point where she basically kicks her boyfriend out so she can illegally access his information. It's clearly intentional, as Jimmy Olsen comments on it in the four or five panels he's in and all but makes dismissive wanking motions about it.

If it were the only thing going on in here, you could possibly excuse it as taking Ms. Lanes usual behavior in pre-marriage stories a bit too far. I mean, she's done worse, right? Silver Age Lois Lane took obsession to crazed heights. Actually, everyone in that era was kind of a dick, save maybe Olsen. But it's not an isolated incident.

No, new love interest Lisa Lassalle is the one that kind of solidifies it. She's likable enough, but falls into a lot of the same traps you see with most female characters. A fair bit of her behavior is overly flirtatious, which - while sadly stereotypical in most fiction - isn't in itself a bad thing, but late in the book we find out she's also a prostitute, or at least when she needs cash to pay the bills.

Look, I'm usually pretty forgiving - I get in disagreements with a friend of mine semi-regularly because I find at least some merit in things he doesn't - but when that revelation came about, I shook my head. Of course she hooks. No sexually active woman could possibly be anything else, except maybe a slut, right? It feeds right into the sort of double standards we as a society have struggled with over the past few decades. On it's own it might not seem as jarring - especially if it had a few other female characters of different mindsets - but in a book where the only other female character of note feels obsessive to the point of stalkerish, it raises a few alarms.

But this is nothing new, I can hear some say. It's hardly the first comic to have questionable portrayals of women. Nor will it be the last. What matters is whether the rest of the book holds up. How does Superman himself come off?

Well, I'm sad to say that this time I have to side with the detractors. JMS definitely screwed him up. Spoiler warning for the next paragraph.

The point volume two completely lost me came late in the book, but had its roots in an early scene. At the start of the book, we see Superman in action, doing typical Superman things, such as saving people in a foreign country from a natural disaster. His rescue mission ends prematurely when the countries leader - clearly taking cues from real life dictators like Saddam Hussein - basically tells Superman to get out of his country before he starts killing people. Superman has to make a hard choice; clearly, he could stop this mans army from killing everyone, but he can't be in two places at once. Eventually he would have to leave to help someone else.

This is fine. It's a little too close to the real world for my taste - using realistic dictators in a superhero story makes for an uncomfortable time, which is why you tend to have things like Black Adam ruling a country - but on the surface it plays into the themes of the Earth One Superman series thus far. As mentioned at the start of the review, most of the point of the last volume was seeing Clark go through different avenues to do the most good before inevitably donning the red and the blue. Now that he's hip deep in the superhero trade, it makes sense for this Superman to come face to face with his limitations; he can't punch every problem, as some are systemic and may have been easier to solve had he been in a different profession.

No, the problem is the bookend. Near the end, after the threat has been dispatched - I know, spoilers, but come on, of course he figures out a way to beat Parasite - Superman returns to that country and incites a revolution. He waltzes in, takes guns from the dictators men, gives them to the revolutionaries and allows them to violently overthrow this regime. There is no mistaking it. There is gunfire going off. Then he goes to the dictators house, tells the man what he's done and then, hearing revolutionaries coming to kill the dictator, leaves him to die. Even if the revolution is over in an hour with minimal bloodshed, people have died and Superman is directly responsible.

Look, we all have different ideas about how change should come about in the world. I'd prefer most conflicts to be solved without violence, but I can't deny that at times I think some people need to be punched in the face, at the least. That, however, is reality. This is fiction.

We're talking about Superman. Having him do things like this shows a complete lack of understanding of the character. But even if we set that aside, even if you buy that Superman could kill or leave someone to die, we're not talking about another Kryptonian with the same power set and potential for danger here. The last scene of the book shows people in the US government trying to figure out a way to kill Superman. We're supposed to feel it's paranoia, because he has supposedly been benign. We're supposed to think they're out of line. But Superman just walked into a middle eastern country and turned it into a war zone. Isn't that absolutely terrifying?

If you were a citizen in that universe and someone with the powers of a god - who is supposedly altruistic, but hasn't been around all that long - went ahead and did that, wouldn't you want some kind of assurance he could be stopped?

That I'm even asking that question brands volume two of Earth One a failure, because it couldn't misunderstand the character more. That's a damn shame. Don't even bother with this one.

My Opinion: Skip It

Meet Me There (movie)

Director: Lex Lybrand
Writer: Brandon Stroud
Starring: Lisa Friedrich, Michael Foulk, Dustin Runnels

You might now know because I rarely ever talk about it on here, but I've long been a fan of professional wrestling. I've been watching WWE on and off since 1996. Occasionally it opens a few interesting doors through association. Meet Me There was one of them.

I've followed Brandon Stroud on Twitter for a while, due to enjoying his weekly Best and Worst of Raw columns. It was there I learned of the film. I enjoy a good horror film - which have been in short supply lately - and I didn't have anything planned for that night, so my sister and I decided to go. The lady who owned the room we rented out for the weekend even decided to join us.

Going turned out to be a good decision. It happened to be the premiere, so everyone was in attendance, including Dustin Runnels himself and his father Dusty Rhodes. I started with wrestling at childhood, so The American Dream was before my time, but I'm the sweet spot for having fond memories of Goldust. Meeting the both of them was a highlight. It's not often you get to hang out with wrestling legends. Turns out they're nice people. That goes for everyone involved in the film, actually, from Mr. Stroud to Lisa Friedrich on down.

Everyone - from the cast and crew to the people who came to see the film - hung around outside waiting for the prior film to finish its showing. Sometimes we discussed wrestling, sometimes the movie we were about to watch. Eventually, the audience of the prior film filed out of the small theater and we all made our way inside. We had a movie to watch, after all.

A pretty good one, as it turned out.

After an opening that succeeds in thoroughly unsettling you, we meet our protagonists, Calvin and Ada. Almost immediately - and wordlessly - we see the problem that drives the movie; they're dealing with a lot of sexual frustration and counseling isn't helping. Ada reveals that she cannot remember much of her childhood, something that throws up some obvious red flags and seems like the root of their troubles. Calvin, looking to make some headway, throws out the idea that the two of them drive to her hometown in the hope that it would jog some memories and help them through the situation.

Since we are talking about a horror movie, I don't think you need me to tell you things quickly go directly to hell without passing Go.

A key strength of the film is in the writing. Dialogue in film can feel too neat at times, but going too far in the other direction isn't ideal either; spend too long meandering and you risk losing the audience. Meet Me There manages to find that fine line between the two, giving enough background to the characters to make a connection without boring you to tears. There are moments in the film that are legitimately funny, as well; I audibly laughed a couple of times, especially at the Smurfs story.

They also manage to get some real mileage out of clearly limited resources. The effects are all practical and the feel is that of a B movie, which I mean in the best way possible. Actually, that might not be a hundred percent accurate, either; perhaps it's better to say it reminds you of a seventies horror film, back when most of the greats were made with little money. Speaking of seventies horror films, the film occasionally reminded me of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which isn't a knock; the opening five or six minutes that feel unrelated until late in the film, the murderous rednecks, the entire town seemingly complicit in whatever shenanigans are afoot. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but if that film was an influence, I felt it.

Another positive is the ambiguity surrounding the events depicted in the film. The cast and crew had a Q&A session after the screening and what struck me was that, when asked what the last twenty minutes of the film meant, everyone had a different answer. I even had my own theory - that the town is meant to represent purgatory - which barely resembled any take they had. Not every film can pull something like that off - you risk the audience wondering what they've just seen - but when it works, it's very effective. Films based on the work of Phillip K. Dick like to go this route.

None of this is to say it's perfect. The film had some audio issues worth noting, including a score that felt unnecessarily loud; on more than one occasion I found I had difficulty making sense of the dialogue because of it, a problem my sister seemed to share. I think I recall the director mentioning that it had something to do with the audio mix not meshing properly with the theaters equipment - and that it wouldn't be a problem going forward - but even so, I can only go by my own experience.

There were a couple of points where the delivery faltered a bit, too. It wasn't anything major and the cast still managed to make the characters feel real, but occasionally a moment would have an iffy reaction that was a little jarring. It's forgivable - the film certainly has a leg up on most low budget horror films in that there's infinitely less ham and cheese in the acting - but it would feel wrong not to mention it.

That said, any trouble is easily balanced by Dustin Rhodes turn as the preacher and the lady playing his not-all-there daughter. Both were highlights. The daughter might have been the creepiest part of a film that had a lot of satanic imagery, some super xenophobic hillbillies with shotguns and a cultish orgy in the woods.

All told, it's well worth attending. It's easily the best the horror genre has given us in a while using a fraction of the resources. I had a lot of fun, got to hang out with some cool people and generally had a memorable night in what turned out to be a memorable weekend. There's obviously no guarantee you'll get to hang out with a Rhodes or crew member, but at worst you'll get to see a pretty good film.

You can't exactly catch it in your local theater, though. You can check the official website for screenings. DVD copies are, thus far, only available to the people who backed the indiegogo campaign, but when asked I've been told they're hoping to get distribution. If and when they do, I'll update this.

My Opinion: Watch It

Indestructible Hulk: Agent of SHIELD (comic)

Writer: Mark Waid
Artist: Lenil Yu
Collects: Indestructible Hulk #1-5

In a reversal of my last review, this was a book I was actually prepared to like. Mark Waid's a rock solid writer who's penned a few runs many consider to be among the all time greats. Even on a bad day he usually manages something that's a decent read. Should be a safe bet.

Unfortunately, I felt that Indestructible Hulks first volume whiffed. There are a few reasons why, not all of them the fault of the creative team. Regardless, they add up to something of a letdown.

We start off harmlessly enough. Shield is looking for the Hulk in the wake of Avengers vs X-Men. We don't get a lot of specifics, but they aren't really necessary; the Hulk is an engine of destruction on a good day, so it's not hard to see why Shield might be after him. Banner finds Maria Hill - probably the most utilitarian character in Marvel by now - and runs a proposition by her; they give him all the resources he wants to invent and he'll let them use the Hulk as they see fit.

Fair enough for the first issue, but by the second we've run into some problems.

The Shield thing I don't mind. The Hulk is a very basic concept at its heart - the Jekyll and Hyde dynamic multiplied tenfold - and has often required some spice to keep it interesting. By the time of Marvel Now, Hulk has been an inter-dimensional traveler, hero to a microscopic kingdom or two, been shot into space, ruled a planet, had a couple ridiculous fever dreams, got his own rainbow corps of Hulks and battled with MPD, his many personalities including a super smart fusion of Banner and Hulk, a straight up evil Devil Hulk and a grey version that enjoys making like an old fashioned mobster. As far as basic concepts go, throwing in with Shield in an effort to try and channel the destruction in a positive way is probably the sanest direction Marvel's gone with in a while.

No, the thing that gave me the most trouble is the one this creative team isn't necessarily responsible for. For a few years now - starting, I believe, with Greg Paks second run on Hulk - Marvel's pushed hard on a "Bruce Banner's kind of a genius" track. Still, Waid and Yu take is the furthest it's gone to date. Bruce Banner is now in the upper tier of Marvel geniuses; not quite a Reed Richards but above the likes of a Tony Stark.

You may think I'm kidding about that last part, but I'm not. Issue number two has Iron Man as a guest star. It's also the issue where they lost me.

See, issue two is entirely devoted to telling us Bruce Banner is smarter than Tony Stark. Not entirely unreasonable that they'd put him over Iron Man - this is Hulks book, so he's going to get the rub - but it reaches a point where Bruce Banner looks like one of the most awful human beings walking. The first issue had a sense of smug self importance about the character - some of his dialogue with Maria Hill rubbed me the wrong way - but it wasn't bad enough to make me stop reading and wonder what the hell was going on with him. Not so with issue two.

Let's do a quick rundown of everything that happened. First, Iron Man shows up, understandably concerned that Shield just recruited the friggin Hulk, a guy known for toppling buildings if he so much as sneezes. He greets Bruce, understandably skeptical, and everyone decides to get in a little condescension before breakfast. Banner then dangles a carrot in front of Tony o he'll volunteer as wingman for a trip out to the Arctic to safely test a new, safer method of fracking. Tony fiddles with it in an attempt to make the process go faster. Banner flips his lid and it's at this point that we find out that this was his plan all along. He deliberately lured Iron Man out to the Artic so he could transform into the Hulk and beat the daylights out of him. The stated reason is because Banner felt Stark always looked down on him. This is apparently enough to justify turning into a demi-god of rage and blitzing a dude in a metal suit. A futuristic, high tech one, but a metal suit nonetheless.

Whatever the case, Iron Man attempts to fend Hulk off so he can get back to the device, which he didn't finish calibrating. It's now set to blow thanks to Hulks reckless attack, because Banner clearly thought this plan out in great detail. The explosion nearly kills Iron Man, which I guess is okay because Hulk saved him from being torched. I guess cleaning up a mess you made negates that whole "near death" thing. They go back and have a laugh, Banner condescends some more and Tony has to brush it off, go to the bathroom, look in the mirror and tell himself he's still rich. He's that shaken by Banner's clearly superior intellect.

Anybody else see the problem here?

There's the obvious issue in that, by this point, Bruce Banner has become entirely unlikable. Iron Man is very nearly killed amidst a brawl Banner lured him to a secluded spot with every intention of starting. He's now the smartest person in any room that doesn't include Reed Richards and he knows it, leading to an off-putting sense of sheer smug that makes you want to see someone deck him. Worse still, he doesn't have any of the charm or likable qualities that keep a character like Tony Stark interesting despite his many screw-ups. This is made even more striking by a character throwing out the notion that what Bruce really wants to be is Tony Stark; the issue tries to refute this a bit in the most "nuh-uh, Banner's better" way possible, with Banner himself basically laughing the implication off about an hour after he nearly killed the guy and Stark musing that Banner would have to aim lower to be him, but it really does feel like Stark is the type of character they're trying to mold Banner into now. The results are mixed, to be kind.

A problem that isn't as immediately obvious is what this intellect upgrade might end up doing to the character. There's a decent chance it might ruin him. We're not talking scientist level smarts anymore. He literally builds a new, world altering invention each week. The kind that solve problems like food and energy shortages. Obviously, this is glossed over and the effects this would have on society aren't shown. There's no downside either, aside from the obvious question of how he can make this stuff yet still find himself magically unable to find a cure. In conjunction with the Shield concept, the Hulk isn't even a counter anymore; his destruction is now, thus far, contained and used to take out threats to the US.

How is this character not a Mary Sue at this point? I do realize this could be going somewhere. Trouble is, do I even care anymore? I'm not sure.

The following three issues didn't do much to change my mind. Hulk basically goes off to fight quasi-Atlanteans or some junk. There's one sorta-Atlantean girl who wants to ride the Hulk, but hates Banner - if that sounds familiar, you've read some Hulk comics - whom Banner later kisses in hopes she'd deck him and he'd transform. Aside from the minor sexual assault, it's fine, but after that second issue, I needed something to pull me back. Those three issues did not fit the bill.

On the upside, the art is quite good. I've been a bit negative regarding Yu's art in the past, partly due to how scratchy it could get. There's little of that here. I'm not sure what else can be said about it. You'll never hear me claim to be a good art critic, because I'm really not. I know what I like, can tell you about what I don't and that's pretty much it.

I hate to be this hard on Indestructible Hulk - I've enjoyed Waids work in the past and went into this wanting to like it - but it just didn't work for me. I may read the second volume if the library has it in the future - I'm at least somewhat curious as to whether the aforementioned problems are leading to something or if it's just how the character is in this book - but I'm not going out of my way for it. As always, I note that you may get more out of it than I did; my opinion is far from absolute.

My Opinion: Skip It

All New X-Men: Yesterdays X-Men (comics)

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immonen
Collects: All New X-Men #1-5

This is not a book I was prepared to like.

While we do have the upside of Avengers vs X-Men having ended the "Extinction Era" of the X line - in my opinion, one of the worst in franchise history - we knew ahead of time that Bendis was leaving the Avengers line to take the reigns of the X books. For me, that's cause for trepidation; I've liked a fair bit of his work, but loved little of it, while I hated others still.

Not helping the situation is that the run was slated to involve the original five X-Men. Marvel rarely goes back to that well for good reason. The original five were mostly bland, with the worst offenders - Archangel and Beast - requiring complete overhauls to be remotely interesting.

Color me surprised, then, that All New X-Men is really good.

Bendis is on his game - possibly because he has new toys to work with rather than the same property he'd worked on for close to a decade - and the central conflict has more weight than I expected. Beasts mutation is killing him and he wants to make some kind of impact before he dies, so he goes back in time to recruit the original X-Men. His hope is that either the original group will force Cyclops to face what he's become or that seeing their futures will in some way steer the Cyclops from the past away from it. Kind of a dick move on Beasts part that could cause more problems that it would solve - I'm hoping someone calls him on it at some point and it's not just waved off - but few things can motivate someone to drastic measures quite like death, so I can buy it.

This is not a story that could have happened without the Extinction Era, which for me taints it in some way. But the reason this has weight is because the franchise has gone in some dark directions, whether Marvel wanted to admit it or not. If you brought those five back from that more idealistic time at any other point, it probably wouldn't have worked simply because it would be hard to believe their revulsion. But we live in a time where the X-Men have shacked up with Magneto, renounced humanity once or twice, fought to allow a world devouring entity to make it to Earth and now see their old leader calling for revolution. If you're going to do it, now's the time.

It works. Mostly. There's a lot for young Cyclops, Jean Grey and Beast to chew on because things have changed the most for them. The younger Iceman and Angel, however, struggle not to fade into the background. After all, Iceman has probably changed the least of the five, so it kind of feels as though his younger self is just along for the ride because the rest went. Angel, meanwhile, is as boring as he's always been. We'll see if Bendis can find something for them to do - Angel has yet to find out about the Archangel business, so there is something to be done with him - but for now they're just standing around while the more interesting character conflicts happen.

Some of the dialogue is spotty - and Modern Cyke has some thoughts upon seeing the younger Jean that we'll file under "questionable" if we want to be charitable - but Bendis does a great job of making things interesting. This might be my favorite thing that he's written since Siege; maybe even as far back as the last time I read Ultimate Spider-Man on a regular basis. A lot of his work was just not for me, but this seems to hit the sweet spot.

Despite relying heavily on how things have changed in the last decade of X-Men comics, it felt surprisingly accessible. This is always a tricky call to make when you're already invested in some way; if you've read as many X comics as I have, it's hard to objectively remove that knowledge and judge the material as if you're just trying to get into the franchise. But Bendis has an advantage here; his story focuses around a younger set of characters who have experienced none of this, so if he slips in some exposition about what has happened, it doesn't feel like an intrusion. You'll probably get more out of it if you already have a working knowledge of where the franchise has gone, but it seems to me like you could jump right in and get everything you need to enjoy the story right here.

The title also benefits from some top notch artwork by Stuart Immonen. This guy can easily sell a scene without words. There's a two page splash midway through the fifth issue that succiently summarizes Jean Grey's future in picture. Jean is in the center, surrounded by a patchwork of memories, making a bit of a bullseye. It's very effective and a great scene. Immonen feels like the perfect partner for this storyline, so I hope we can go without a ton of fill-ins as we go along.

Overall, we're left with a well crafted comic that is well worth reading. Time will tell if it continues as strongly as it started, but for now I definitely recommend the first volume. I'm sold.

My Opinion: Read It 

Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: Dudes a straight up creeper. The second he spots young Jean Grey, he's immediately like "she's so gorgeous, everything I ever wanted in life". Dude, chill out; that's, what, a sixteen year old version of your ex-wife. This is also kind of ignoring the fact that this "perfection" was exactly why they didn't work out in the first place.

Dude's also calling for straight up revolt on television. While picking up mutants for his own school. Which he's calling the New Xavier School. Yup, named after the father figure he himself killed. At least he shows some remorse in this one as opposed to the time he said he'd do it all over again.

Super Monkey Ball: Banana Splitz (video game)

Platform: PS Vita
Developer: Marvelous AQL
Genre: Action, Puzzle, Party
Release Date: October 23rd, 2012

Few games can go from fun to frustrating as fast as a Super Monkey Ball entry.

Super Monkey Ball has been around since the early days of the Gamecube and was, in fact, one of the better titles for the system. Thirteen years after the first game, we're on entry number ten; time marched on, but Monkey Ball did not. Save some cruddier level design, this series has refused to move forward at all and that's it's biggest problem.

The biggest - and arguably only - added feature happens to be motion controls. If you so desire, you can control the game through tilting the system. This isn't even all that new a feature; I'm pretty sure the 3DS counterpart has it as well. Either way, the option to use the left analog stick is still there and believe me, you're going to want to use it.

See, the trouble with adding motion control to a game like this is that you only have so much say over what is happening as it is. Monkey Ball has always been unique in that you don't actually control the resident simian or the ball he resides in; you are actually controlling the tilt of the entire stage itself and using that to maneuver the ball around hazards, with sixty seconds to get to the goal. That's difficult enough as it is; adding tilt control just adds an extra layer of imprecision to a game where you're already struggling against momentum and navigating thin pathways.

Banana Splitz doesn't do a great job of being a portable title, either. When I say "nothing has changed" I'm including the way the game is structured. The typical Super Monkey Ball format is to have three difficulties; Beginner will have one world of ten stages, Normal will have three worlds of ten and Advanced will have five. You have a number of lives and continues to utilize and must complete all the stages in a difficulty in one shot.

That's perfectly fine for a home console - you're sitting on your couch, likely with a fair chunk of time to devote to whatever game you choose - but it's a poor format for a portable. Part of the point is to play games on the go and you don't always have a long stretch of time to play. Oh sure, you may have the occasional long commute or wait in a doctors office, but typically you'll pull out the system to kill a few minutes here and there. Most modern portable games plan for this - even the long games, like an RPG, will typically allow you to save at almost any point - but Super Monkey Ball doesn't bother. You either complete all the levels or you quit; there's no saving midway, so if you're on Advanced you're more or less screwed.

As a result, there aren't a lot of upsides to playing Banana Splitz. It's really the same as any other Monkey Ball game, so you may as well get one of those. There are better games to get for your PS Vita.

My Opinion: Skip It

Uncanny X-Men by Kieron Gillen vol. 4 (comics)

Writer: Kieron Gillen
Artists: Daniel Acuna, Ron Garney, Dale Eaglesham, Carlos Pacheco
Collects: Uncanny X-Men (vol. 2) #15-20

Warning: This review is going to contain spoilers for AVX. It's almost unavoidable. This entire volume hinges on the big plot twist of that event. I'm going to attempt to skirt around the identity of the X-Men affected, but be forewarned.

Kieron Gillen's time with the Uncanny X-Men comes to a close with this volume. The book would be immediately relaunched for the second time in as many years, this time with Brian Michael Bendis at the helm. I guess he got tired of writing the Avengers. Damn near ten years will do that to you.

The sad part about it is that it's felt to me like Gillens run never managed to get off the ground. He was on the book for something like thirty five issues, five of them co-written with Matt Fraction. A fair chunk of real estate, but of that number he got to do maybe one or two stories divorced of events or the goings on of the Marvel Universe at large. Looking back, his best issues were frequently single issues he snuck in; the Phalanx and the Mister Sinister issues were easily my favorite of his time with the book.

Unfortunately, most of his run was marred with the sort of problems you see all over this one. This comic makes zero sense unless you've read AVX or at least have a working understanding of what happened in that book. Between this volume and the last, five of the cast have become the Phoenix Five and are all but omnipotent. They immediately decide to make the world an actual utopia, at which point we come in, with not a goddamn lick of that being explained within the comic itself.

This presents some problems beyond the immediately apparent. Near the beginning, they remember Mister Sinister is out there and they should probably go curbstomp him. With little effort, they find him - again, they're basically gods at this point - and commence with said curbstomping.

Obviously, this doesn't go according to plan - I don't think anyone can stretch an ass whopping that one sided for three issues - but it doesn't happen in any believable way. It's pure plot contrivance. They're defeated solely because the plot calls for it, at least up until the Phoenix decides it's better off with the five. Sinister is dispatched immediately after that. Nothing is at stake. There's no explanation to be found, either; I admit that it's been a year since I read the last volume, but I don't recall anything from the rest of the run that could make sense of how the Five were beat.

The worst part is that I'm not sure there was any way around it. Gillens run was ending with this volume and Bendis was coming on board; the Mister Sinister plot had to be wrapped up in some fashion before that happened. But the main X-Men had become demi-gods in the event this book ties into; Uncanny couldn't well ignore what happened, even if it meant there was almost no way to make Sinister a believable - or remotely threatening - adversary to a handful of people backed by the power of a giant fire bird. So I guess the only option was to fudge the lines and wipe the playing field.

After any vestige of plot exclusive to this comic is wiped away, the rest of the volume is your typical "between the panels of the event" tie-in, which is exactly the sort I hate. Gillen, for his part, does a good job of attempting to add to the events of the other book, delving into the warped psyche of the protagonists and attempting to show how deeply this power has compromised them. In fact, he probably adds more depth in his tie-in than the main event had. It comes with the obvious downside though; the last three issues are either a disjointed clip show or an epilogue to someone elses story.

Not exactly how a run by a talented writer should go out.

Most of the art is serviceable, but little stands out to me. Daniel Acuna handles three of the six issues; he's typically a great artist, but his style clashes with everything else we've seen thus far. Ron Garney's work is good, but you won't write home about it. Dale Eaglesham is on for an issue, but that's it; luckily, it depicts a lot of the action from the climax of AVX, so at least he has something interesting to draw.

Carlos Pacheco illustrates the last issue of this run of Uncanny X-Men; it's good to have him back to close out the volume - and tie up any lingering plot threads - but it just serves to remind you how little we actually got of his art We had, what, seven issues total? I'd nearly forgotten that he was supposed to be the regular penciler. They didn't even have him on board to wrap the Mister Sinister story that's been running since the start. Perhaps he just couldn't do it in the time they'd need it. I don't know.

My Opinion: Try It

It's difficult to give a solid opinion on something like this. If you've read up through volume three of Gillens run, you may as well finish. If you're haven't and wonder if the run is worth getting into, I can't bring myself to say yes. It's not really Gillens fault - his dialogue and character interactions are the only reason to even bother - it's just the way this seemed to pan out. We'll see if Bendis will fare better with the franchise; he's a big enough name that he can probably avoid being stuck with whatever event is rolling through the universe.

Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: Quite a few moments are AVX repeats. But man, that second to last issue. Cyclops, now in control of his mental faculties - such as they are - realizes he's killed his mentor on top of making people fear mutants more than ever before. He's over it the second he hears there are new mutants. Even says he'd do it all again. Ice cold.