X-Men: Schism (comic)

Writers: Jason Aaron, Kieron Gillen
Artists: Carlos Pacheco, Frank Cho, Daniel Acuna, Alan Davis, Adam Kubert, Billy Tan
Collects: X-Men: Schism #1-5, X-Men: Regenesis

I guess you could say this is a story that's been in the making since Wolverine first joined the X-Men. Perhaps what's important to you is the fact that the group is splitting up into two sides with two entirely different mission statements. For me, the most important part is the fact that I've finally got an X-Men comic I completely enjoyed with the promise of more in one of the series launched in Schisms wake.

I guess it had to happen at some point.

It starts out simple enough. Cyclops and Wolverine represent Utopia at an arms conference - because in the Marvel universe, all you have to do to become a country is herd two hundred people on a rock and call yourselves one - to ask nations of the world to disarm their Sentinels. Who knows if he would've managed to get anywhere, because Quentin Quire shows up and decides it would be a good time to make a complete mess of things by forcing the worlds leaders to embarrass themselves on live television. Guess how they react. Worse still, this is all part of the plan of the new Hellfire Club. On top of that, Wolverine is growing increasingly agitated over the use of kids in their little mutant wars. Cyclops doesn't help matters by insisting on it.

A lot of the book is a conflict of ideology, with the fisticuffs only coming into play in the last third. Cyclops sees himself as a General in a war, willing to use whatever is necessary to survive and win. On the flipside, Wolverine is a man who has found himself tired of seeing kids grow up without childhoods, knowing only how to fight. The tensions only increase over the five issues until Wolverine is ready to blow up Utopia to force everyone to evacuate - as opposed to Cyclops, who wants to risk the kids by leading them into battle with a huge Sentinel - and, out of options, Cyke goes for the verbal equivalent of a low blow. What Wolverine says next hits a little too close to home and the fight is on.

To a certain extent, you can look at Schism as a story of men who, over time, have changed. Cyclops barely even resembles the character he was before and I've detailed my disdain for that several times in the past. Wolverine, on the other hand, has become less a loner and more like a gruff parent who only wants what's best for the kids. It's a change that's happened over time and tracks well; he always took young wayward teens under his wing and tried to show them the way. The direction he's gone in only makes sense for his character and with the X-Men now resembling an army - one with child soldiers whose main education is in fighting - you get the feeling this is the only way it could have ended.

Ultimately, who is right is left up to your own individual opinion. As you can guess, I'm with Wolverine and think Cyclops is a complete ass, but Jason Aaron has gone out of his way to make it so that feeling the opposite is a legitimate view as well. This can be seen pretty clearly in the ending conflict of the book. Schism couldn't resist making Cyclops ultimately "right"* - he, Wolverine and the kids DO manage to push back the Sentinel, as he believed - but it doesn't forget to balance the scale; as Wolverine points out, it doesn't really matter that they COULD do it, the point being that the kids should not be forced into positions like the one Idie found herself in, as has been necessary in the Cyclops Army. You could take either side and Schism will not go out of its way to make you feel like you are wrong, unlike the inexplicably beloved "Civil War" event.

On the whole, Schism is a well written book that opens up different avenues for the franchise. If you actually like the way the X-Men books have been since House of M, well, I have no clue how to understand your point of view, but you could keep up with Uncanny X-Men and the other books following his side. If you're with Wolverine and want to read a book with a more traditional approach, you can follow him back to Westchester in Wolverine and the X-Men. Works for me. Guess which book I'll be reading.

The art situation is... complicated. There are five different pencillers, each assigned to an issue. Normally, this would be the sort of thing I would slam a book for. Trouble is, each and every one of the artists used is a great. They all do fine work, to boot. If I had to lodge a complaint, it would be that Acuna's art does not really fit with the other four, but that's about it.

The X-Men: Regenesis one-shot - scripted by the talented Kieron Gillen with art by Billy Tan - is also included here. It's not really necessary - the book is basically a "who will go with which side" deal juxtaposed against some weird tribal standoff representing the split of the "tribe" - but it's a nice inclusion that gives you an idea of which side you might find your favorite X-Men on. The art by Billy Tan is decent. I've never had a problem with his artwork, though I suppose he suffers a bit by comparison, given the number of great artists collected in the rest of the volume.

The Score: 8.5 out of 10

Against all odds, we get an X-Men event that manages to complete it's mission statement and be legitimately good. Who'd have guessed? X-Men: Schism is definitely worth a read, even if you just want to see the Wolverine/Cyclops brawl they finally decided to get around to years after the imitator**. Schism has me interested in Wolverine and the X-Men as well; we'll see if that's the X-Men book I've been waiting for.

Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: The book takes great pains to keep Cyke from being too much of a dick and ruining his side of the argument, but he still has a few moments of his now patented brand of douchebaggery. Giving a troubled girl with questionable control over her powers the go ahead to "do what she has to" when the adults "won't make it in time"? Gee, I wonder how THAT plan will end? Also, see the complete dick move Cyke pulls when he brings up Jean Grey and tells Wolverine she not only never loved him, but was frightened of him. She had absolutely no bearing on anything; Cyclops was just pissed Wolverine left him with no options and decided to take the cheapest shot he could. He doesn't particularly care for the reply.

* Cyclops has been sort of a writers pet since as far back as Ed Brubakers run onwards. For some reason, writers have had a hard-on for the character, going out of their way to make him either right or "cool". They even gave him a jetpack. For me, it never worked. I just ended up hating Cyclops.

** I'm talking about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles here. The relationship between Leonardo and Raphael has always been a carbon copy of the antagonism between Cyclops and Wolverine. They took almost as long as the X-Men to stop dancing around it and just have the two duke it out. That happened in the fourth TMNT film, which was done in CGI instead of live action. Decent film, if not particularly memorable. The Leo/Raph fight is worth watching online if you don't feel like seeing the whole thing.

Astonishing X-Men: Monstrous (comic)

Writer: Daniel Way
Artists: Jason Pearson, Nick Bradshaw
Collects: Astonishing X-Men #36-37, 39, 41

I've never been a believer in the notion that some titles should end when a story ends or a creative team leaves - serial superhero comics do not work that way for one and it just creates another damned "volume" to keep track of when it's inevitably relaunched for two - so I never had a problem with Astonishing X-Men continuing once Joss Whedon and John Cassaday finished their acclaimed run. It certainly helps that Warren Ellis put forth a pretty good effort, even if he didn't always hit the heights of the books past. With Ellis now gone, Astonishing marches on as the accessible, continuity light X book*; for this period Marvel figured the book should switch off creative teams telling their own story. This volume collects one of those stories.

I've always liked the idea of an island filled with monsters, so I'm always down with seeing Monster Island. Apparently, there's a bunch of oil under it too. Roxxon - whom you may know as Marvels version of a cartoonishly evil corporation - naturally wants it. So, of course, they go and hire an unstable supervillain to team with their employees tasked with blowing up Monster Island so they can get at it. They are then shocked when the villain turns on them, takes control of every monster there and then holds them for ransom. Meanwhile, some of Armors family has died, which is how the X-Men end up in Tokyo for the monster related shenanigans.

Daniel Way, the writer for the arc, is about as hit or miss as they come, in my estimation. I've liked some of his work - at one point I read a big hardcover of the first year of his Deadpool run, which was pretty good - and did NOT care for others. Monstrous sits somewhere in the middle. For every one thing I like, there's one negative to match it. I like that Way sticks with a theme of family, which is almost foreign these days. But then we have Armors dad, the stereotypical Japanese father**. Bunch of monster wrecking Tokyo? Tempered by the fact that things go laughably wrong when Way attempts to write an accent for Wolverine.

One problem that stands above the others is the fact that the book doesn't seem to give enough time to the things it probably should. Either things needed a bit more shuffling around or the book needed another issue. For instance, the story ends on Armors father finally accepting her life as a hero, but it doesn't feel earned; the last time we saw him prior, he was urging her to stand with her family and the moment where he realizes how important her other life is - when he watches her save others during the monster attack on television - happens off panel.

Then there's the fact that not nearly enough time is spent on Armor actually dealing with the loss of some of her family. We don't see much of the wake or her interactions with her father outside of it. Considering Armors powers draw from her deceased ancestors, it almost feels as though that half of the story only happened to give her a power boost.

Ah, and the villain. Some Z lister named Mentallo. I've never seen him before and had no idea what his deal was prior to this story. I can't say I would feel too bad if we never saw him again either. Aside from controlling some monsters to smack the X-Men around, he doesn't have a lot going for him.

I don't know; I didn't hate it, but the more I think about it the less Monstrous did for me.

Also problematic is the art situation. Mostly because we have four issues here and it switches artists after two. Why? It's not like this story is structured like a typical arc, with consecutive issues. Both #38 and #40 - not collected in this volume - belong to a different story, giving a month extra per issue to get the job done. What happened?

Regardless, Jason Pearson handles the first half; like the writing, there are things I like and things I don't. I'm fond, for example, of his Cyclops. The lines on Cykes suit are drawn much thicker here, which looks pretty great. Also a keeper is the fact that the colorist for his issues decided on black and gold for his costume as opposed to the typical blue and gold. They're small, simple alterations, but I thought they were improvements. On the downside, his Wolverine needs some work; the near constant bug eyed expression he's drawn with is downright odd. If he worked on his expressions somewhat, I wouldn't mind seeing Pearsons work again.

Nick Bradshaw handles the other half of the story. There's much less for me to talk about here. Whereas Pearsons work is stylized, Bradshaw gives us something a bit more standard. It's some rock solid art; nothing outstanding about it but nothing to dislike either.

Oh, on a final note, apparently Marvel threw in an old issue of Strange Tales to help justify the seventeen dollars they want for this four issue collection. I guess the official word would be that it's there because it has Fin Fang Foom. Like most old issues thrown in to pad a small volume, it's fine as a curiosity but you can never get past the knowledge that it's there for no other reason than to scam a few more dollars out of you.

The Score: 5.5 out of 10

It's alright. I wouldn't recommend a purchase, but if you see it at the library and need some X-Men it might be worth a read through. This volume is far from Astonishing X-Men's finest hour, but I must admit I'm glad to see Marvel is sticking with the idea of an X book that's light on continuity.

Cyclops Douchebaggery Alert: Immediately upon finding out the monster raging through Tokyo is under mind control, Cyclops figures they may as well just kill it anyways. Captain Kill'emall himself, Wolverine, is the one who steps up to say "hey, wait a minute, this is not his fault". Sure, it's a practical move - obviously they're out to save the lives of others as well as their own - but he doesn't even bother to consider another option before deciding. Not particularly heroic.

*This is a GOOD THING, mind you. I personally think it should be standard for every big franchise - Batman, Avengers, X-Men or so on - to have a book that strives to be accessible and keeps continuity wrangling to a minimum. They should also be books the companies put some of their best talent on, but I'm probably asking for too much with that one.

** I'm not sure if this is on Way or if her dad was always like that. I'm admittedly not as big a Marvel guy as I am DC, so my knowledge is a bit lacking in that area. For all I know Daniel Way is just following his established personality here.

SHIELD: Architects of Forever (comic)

Writer: Johnathan Hickman
Artist: Dustin Weaver
Collects: SHIELD #1-6

I actually finished this comic a month ago, but when it came time to review it I kept putting it off. I've had a hard time figuring out what my thoughts were. This comic is obviously the first part of a story, which makes it difficult to really come to a conclusion about whether it works or not.

The book uses history to weave an interesting tapestry, which is quite possibly its biggest strength. Most of histories greatest figures are shown as members of SHIELD, the protectors of the world; SHIELD is likewise retconned as an organization that was around long, long before Nick Fury was even a thought. A lot of visually interesting scenes abound.

Said moments are at least part of what makes this book engaging. There's something captivating about seeing Leonardo Da Vinci, time traveller extraordinaire, or having Galileo topple Galactus long before Reed Richards. In a medium that is at least half visual, having so many "cool" scenes to look at in your book goes a long way, especially when you have yet to reveal your hand by the end of the book.

The storytelling structure takes a bit of getting used to, though. Hickman uses a LOT of flashbacks that range from thousands of years to as little as five minutes ago. At least half of the first issue is done in flashback. While this provides the book with many of its standout images, it also has a habit of getting confusing.

For instance, here is at least one occasion where it's difficult to tell if a scene is supposed to take place in present day or recent past. Then it feels like the book is trying to get cute when two scenes see time going backwards in five minute increments. The moment I refer to in particular sees one scene set as "five minutes ago" from a scene with Nostradamus and the scene after it also set as "five minutes ago", leaving me to wonder if it was supposed to be five minutes ago from five minutes ago or if both events were meant to be happening simultaneously. It wouldn't be quite so bad if it didn't feel unnecessary.

But even with the books at times non-linear structure, there's a lot going on that feels important. Only trouble is, you're not sure if it is or not. The miniseries ends with a revelation, but it only pulls a couple threads together while leaving the majority hanging. Clearly, the book is meant to come together later on - which I assume will be the second half of the story - but for now the book leaves us with a lot of puzzle pieces I'm not sure we have the context to put together as of yet.

I think this is what makes the book awkward to review. The story feels like the sort that is meant to be taken in when its finished rather than judged by halves. On the other hand, it's perfectly legitimate to judge whether a series works for you based on what you've seen. It's a tough call.

One aspect that's easy to judge, however, is Dustin Weavers artwork. It's simply fantastic on a level you'll only find from the JH Williams III's of the comic world. Each page is packed with tons of detail and interesting things to see. The wonder evoked from many of the books coolest scenes might not have worked as well under another artist. His art makes SHIELD worth the purchase alone.

The Score: 8 out of 10

I wasn't entirely sure how to grade SHIELD, but I eventually settled on an eight. Everything could go wrong in the second part of the story, but for now there are enough strengths to this comic to make it worth the cash. Recommended.

Hexyz Force (game)

Platform: PSP
Developer: Sting Entertainment
Genre: RPG
ESRB Rating: Teen
Release Date: May 25th, 2010

The PSP has a fair number of RPG's, so it's easy for a lower key title to get lost in the shuffle. Hexyz Force is one I'd never heard of before I came across it and decided to play it. It doesn't stand out enough to really make a big impact, but Hexyz Force is unique enough to be worth a playthrough.

A long time ago, the Goddess of Creation descended with the Holy Vessall and created the land of Berge. But eventually, disaster struck and a group of the divine had to fight off Delgaia, the god of Destruction. The world was reborn under one condition; that one day an hour of judgement would come to pass and the chosen would choose the future of creation or destruction. You play as those tasked with this decision; only you can stop those who wish for Destruction over Creation.

One thing of note with this game is that you have some measure of choice here. There are two main playable characters and you will choose one at the start. Each has their own story to play through. This offsets the fact that this RPG is fairly linear; there's only so much to see and do - side quests in particular are few and far between - but it's easier to go along with this when the game offers you two twenty to thirty hour plot paths to play through.

The battle system of the game is unique. When you boil it down, it's a big old game of rock, paper, scissors. Each weapon has one of the three different forces, each of which has a strength and weakness. If you coordinate your attacks so the elements are used in order, the damage you do - and even the amount of health you heal - is multiplied. Monsters must also be taken into account, as their attacks add to the multiplier and they also get the damage bonus. Use the wrong force type and the chain will be broken, requiring you to start over again.

It's a system I welcome, because it requires some semblance of strategy. The key to defeating a boss quickly is proper use of this mechanic; if you just attempt to power through boss battles without keeping an eye on your multiplier percentage, there's a good chance they'll massacre you. Even some of the stronger common monsters can take you down if you don't keep an eye on things. You won't be holding the button down on "fight" like in other RPG's.

I liked the music in the game well enough. It's not on the level of an Uematsu, but each song fits the area it corresponds to well. You won't find yourself humming the melodies or anything but some might stick in your head. Pretty respectable overall.

The Score: 7.5 out of 10

A perfectly respectable RPG to kill time. There are several ways it could have improved - more to do in the world not related to the main quests is one particular way - but it's otherwise a solid game. Feel free to rent it from your service of choice.

All Star Batman and Robin (comic)

Writer: Frank Miller
Artist: Jim Lee
Collects: All Star Batman & Robin #1-9

Frank Miller's at a point where he's not the surefire hit he used to be. Oh sure, he'll probably sell a lot of copies of whatever book he's putting out, but critically he's fallen pretty far. Kind of hard not to, though, when you put out shit like Holy Terror.

If Dark Knight Strikes Again was the book that made everyone realize he could, in fact, do wrong, All Star Batman is where people started to turn on him. The book is a love it or hate it affair among fans these days, but for a while there it was the joke of the internet for several reasons. The dark mirror of the universally beloved All Star Superman.

Its reputation is somewhat deserved. I've rarely seen a book filled with characters this unlikable. Wonder Woman is a radical misandrist - she calls a random passerby a "sperm bank" for no other reason than he had the misfortune of walking near her - Batman is the guy forching a freshly traumatized child to eat rats, Commissioner Gordon is a guy who chats on the phone with his former flame while his wife is in the other room and so on. If there's a single decent person in this book, it's Alfred.

Frank Millers typical traits are on full display. Everyones a slut, whore or at least dresses like one. First time we see Vicki Vale she's on the phone in her lingerie while inexplicably wearing high heels in the comfort of her penthouse. An ass shot follows within three panels, of course. The protagonist is a cackling, uber-violent maniac. It's like Miller never managed to dial things back after Sin City.

Worse still, it feels like it takes forever for the book to go anywhere. Only in the last issue or so do we get the idea that Miller may be going somewhere with this. Where that is, only he knows. After all, this volume collects nine of the ten issues released in the seven years since the book started. As it stands now, the book has vanished into the ether with the six issue conclusion wildly off schedule*. It's tempting to wonder if anyone will even care by the time this finishes.

Is there any merit to the story? I suppose. Millers Batman has always openly opined that his fight against crime is a war, which is taken to its absolute breaking point with Robins recruitment. Dick Grayson is practically drafted into this "war" and the parallel doesn't stop there. In the old days, part of the point of the training was to break you, to mold you into the killer the army wanted and needed. The effects were, frankly, real bad; we hear a lot about how utterly broken many soldiers were after wars**. The cruel treatment of Grayson seems a similar attempt to mold him and it seems just as likely to break him. It likely even explains the murderous psychopath he became by DKSA; like a soldier, it seems this treatment had ill effects that never truly went away and going by this book the blame can be laid entirely at Batmans feet.

The Batman Miller has been writing since DKSA is a hell of a lot less heroic - despite the good his actions inspire - and definitely more of an outright psycopath. I suppose that's a perfectly valid interpretation and there's certainly no harm in it existing as a contrast to the typical heroic Batman. Still, it leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

Using Jim Lee for the artwork is an odd choice, one I'm not sure paid off. We'll set aside the delays it caused for now; the problem is more that Lee does not seem to suit Millers world. When we think of Millers Dark Knight work, we visualize his artwork, faults and all. Lee, however, is much more mainstream with his art; it's cleaner, brighter, smoother and suited more to a regular depiction of Batman. The result is a man doing the best art of his career on a book that isn't quite suited to it.

Perhaps when the conclusion hits at some vague point in the future this book will hold up better, but as is it's a curiosity at best.

The Score: 6 out of 10

Lee's artwork is worth an eight, at least, but on the whole this book is a misfire. It has merit, but little I can really appreciate. I can understand why others like it - it can be funny at times if taken as a deliberate parody of Millers typical work - but I don't think it's for me. Not something I can recommend.

* Fitting, I suppose, given the books notorious delays. At one point there was something like a year between issues. All Star Batman truly is the Duke Nukem forever of the comic world. Ten to one it'll disappoint just as badly.

** My step-fathers father was a particularly bad case. His war was Nam. He came back an abusive, horrible man who had any good in him destroyed by the experience. Stories of my step-fathers childhood are pretty heartbreaking in regards to the abuse. I've also heard plenty about how his father would wake up from a dead sleep, dive for cover, flip the coffee table and scream about Charlie over the ridge. Chilling stuff to hear about.

Saints Row the Third: The Trouble With Clones (video game DLC)

Parent Game: Saints Row the Third

With everything Saints Row the Third did right, one of the few things about it that didn't sit well with me is the fact that it offed the best recurring cast member in the first fifteen minutes of the game. Apparently, it didn't sit well with most of the folks at Volition either; it's been said that many of them did not want to kill off Gat at all.

So how do you rectify this? With clones, of course! This is Saints Row the Third we're talking about.

Storywise, it's kind of a fitting coda to the main game. After all, Saints Row the Third kicked off with Johnny going down, so ending on a mission pack that kind of brings him back takes the game full circle. Who knows where the next Saints Row game will go, but it'll be nice to have Johnny Gat - or at least a musclebound clone - along for the ride.

The new weapons are fun to dick around with. I mean, shooting people with a bee gun? Good times. The games third and final mission also gives you superpowers through an irradiated can of Saints Flow. You'll be running through cars, tossing fireballs at helicopters and turning bodies into a spray of blood in one punch.

Unfortunately, it's not all roses. This mission pack costs seven dollars and gives you all of three missions. You'll clear it in under an hour. Seriously bad value for the money. The content we get here is worth three dollars at the most and unless you have the PC version and get the DLC through Steam or something you'll never see them at that price. Add the short length on to the fact that the weapons - including the Saints Flow superpowers - do not carry over to the main game after you're done.

When people gripe about the evils of DLC, this is the kind of thing they're talking about; this would be great if it were something that had been included in the main game, but at seven dollars TTWC is seriously overpriced and - sadly - not worth what they're charging.

The Score: 6 out of 10

Like the main game, it's short and sweet; unlike the main game, it's way too short and not sweet enough. This is the only DLC add on that is an actual addition to the games story, so if you absolutely have to have more Saints Row 3 this is the one to get, but be forewarned that it's over before you know it.

I feel like I should have given it a lower score because of all this, but there's technically nothing wrong with the content itself. It's just kind of a rip off. I settled for the middle ground of a six.

On the lack of activity

You may have noticed that updates have slowed around here. It's not indicative of a loss of interest in the blog. Rather, in the past two months I haven't really read or played much in the way of new things. I typically only review video games after I've finished them - which obviously takes a while in most cases - and I haven't had much in the way of new comics to read.

This should change in the coming weeks. I've got a couple games up for review, plus a few comics. So stay tuned, non-existant readership!